Please Continue This
by Basium1
Summary: The completed FIRST chapters of stories I STARTED but couldn't think of where to go. I may have more chapters and I reserve the right to continue it. If you want it, take it. Let me know if you plan to continue a particular story so that I may be on the look out for it. I don't own Harry Potter/Please read the notes at the end of the chapter for WHY they were left behind.
1. Chapter 1

Wish Upon a Dog Star

Harry wanted a daddy/Sirius wanted his old friend back, maybe he'd settle for this reason to live?

* * *

PROLOGUE

* * *

Harry wanted so badly to be anywhere else but here and elsewhere a man wanted something of the past…

_POP _

Through simultaneous wishes upon the same star the man was named, a little boy came upon his father and a man found a new reason to live.

Who were these fine gentlemen?

_Sirius Black_, who was currently escaping with a comatose child on his back… and said child was a child meant for great things: _Harry Potter_

They're journey is a journey which truly began with a wish upon a dog star.

* * *

Sirius laid him, despite the blatant fever, underneath the blankets… his mum's corpse still rotting in the foyer, would make for a terrible show.

He gulped.

She had been dead when he had arrived… someone would come and check on her, unless…

"Kreature!"

"Bad master, sullying mistress's home—"

"Give her a Black family burial." He hesitated. "I'll give her the blessing." It was better to get in the elf's good graces… this was for Harry. "Did you hear me?"

"Bad master… bad master is giving mistress the Black's Burial Blessing…" He was shocked beyond words, that much was clear.

_Poor Kreature,_ he thought maliciously… he'd gladly—so very gladly—get a replacement… maybe restart his grandfather's house elf breeding program? Male house elves _did_ breed better when they were miserable. Harry stirred.

"This isn't free. I want Harry treated like a prince whether I'm there or not." He stood, "I am the master of this house now, I want you to clean this place up or I _will_ replace you with something better, get everything ready for…" He hesitated for a moment before swallowing his pride. "For mum."

"Yes, Master."

_POP! _

The little boy stirred.

* * *

Sirius stared at the Black family tapestry, his eyes never once leaving the names… his mum had reinstated him, possibly from the fact that he had gone to Azkaban as the _Right Hand of You-Know-Who_, the article had been framed…

What shocked him, however, were the names connected to him.

_Lily Evans_

Beneath that was the name:

_Harry Potter _

Yes, they had been having the affair since Hogwarts… back at the end of sixth year he had set up a bet to make the final conquest of their year that wasn't family… he had had her once and that proved to never be enough…

Even before her marriage to James Potter, his best mate… had they known the true father?

"I'm sorry, Prongs." He whispered, bowing his head. "I'll raise him as you would have."

Yes, a great Gryffindor as good as Godric Gryffindor himself… he'd have to… to… bloody hell, it hurt to even think about it.

"I'm sorry; Prongs, you'd have raised him as a son…"

"Master, the crypt is being ready." Beneath their house lay the Black Family Crypt, a place he had visited every Yule before Hogwarts to celebrate with the _whole_ family.

A ghastly pureblood tradition.

This year they would add another body to be kept in the confines of his… _family's_ final resting place. He had checked and idly wondered where Regulus's body was.

The annoying little twerp he may have been.

"Alright, what rite did she want?"

"Full Family Passing, master." Great, so Harry would have to be here.

"I want you to prepare my son, he can rest all he wants after this."

"Of course, master." He looked at her, marveling at how much older she looked from back when he was sixteen. She hadn't been much of a mum to him, but at the end of the day she still was. "Master, young master is being ready but being really sleepy."

"Of course he is, he _is_ recovering from a nasty case of dragon pox." A few simple immunizations would have fixed that. He grabbed his godson's—no, his _son's_—hand and walked him forward. They were the last who would bear the surname Black. His father had walked him through all of the basic traditions at the age of five.

He'd have to have patience.

"Master, Kreature is being ready to begin."

"Of course." He cleared his throat and straitened Harry's—it would be for now, since he couldn't go to Hogwarts under that name—posture and began with his wand pointed over the bitter old woman's corpse, "Harry, this is your grandmum, today we bury her in the name of the Black family. I have very few kind words. She was the one who brought me into this world and the one who made me the man I grew up to be." Silence… "Harry, say something nice about her."

"Er… she had nice hair?" Sirius realized that she did in fact have _very_ well cared for hair. He supposed she had given that to him. "She must have been pretty when she was young…"

"Kreature, as there are so few of us… as her prized servant, you will say your praises of the light she guided you with."

* * *

_An hour later…_

* * *

"Thus mistress made Kreature clean up—"

"As enlightening as that was, I draw this funeral to a close." He lifted his wand, turned Harry around, and silently cast a fire conjuration spell, one which would made a fire which would fall like a waterfall. "Harry, go upstairs, Kreature, you will put her in the urn when I finish." The barely out of toddlerhood boy obliged as he smelled the foul scent of burning flesh. "Kreature, make a large dinner when you finish."

He walked up the stairs where he caught up to a passed out Harry.

Kreature gave a wail.

"Come on, champion, I'll get the paperwork in the morning."

_Now then, to decide on a name…_

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

Procyon Alphard Black would have squealed in delight if he had had the vocal chords for it. His father nudged him towards Madame Malkin's Robes for Every Occasion, the best place to buy Hogwarts school robes and not much else.

Maybe dad would buy him the Nimbus 2000 for Yule.

"Eight Hogwarts school robes." The clerk took one look at the sack of galleons and his father at his side and frowned.

"No dogs allowed." His father stepped out, still in his animagus form. He would watch and wait for him to exit. He was placed on a stool next to a blond boy who breathed the snootiness his father had told him to never express.

"Hogwarts, too?"

"Yeah." He had once longed to play with the children his age and had done so. His past experience with a boy by the name of Dudley Dursley had killed that urge. This boy breathed everything he longed to avoid.

"You're from good stock, I see." He said with a nod towards his informal robes. "I don't know why they let _them_ into Hogwarts."

"Who?" He knew immediately who he had meant.

"Surely you know what I mean. _Mudbloods_." He whispered the word as the clerk finished Procyon's measurements. Procyon held out his hand.

"I am Procyon Black, heir to the _Most __Ancient_ and _Noble_ House of Black, halfblood." It was a make or break moment for the boy. With some hesitation the boy took hold of his hand and completed the alliance.

"I am Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy _pureblood_ bloodline." Malfoy was a family from France as their surname implied. At the end of the day it was he, Procyon, who was from primer breeding stock. His children of a pureblood witch would be pureblood by the standards set by English society.

His father had told him that the children he provided would be loved either way.

"All done, young man!" He didn't look back as he left. He hoped for Gryffindor while Malfoy would surely be in Slytherin.

It would be interesting to see if their alliance would last.

His father was waiting when he stepped out, his bag of robes at his side. Next would be the trunks. He pulled out the parchment with his father's specifications and walked with purpose to the shop. He was nudged in a different direction.

His father wanted ice cream. His father's absolute favorite was lime delight.

"You're such kid sometimes." Had his father been in his human form he would have answered.

_"You're such an adult." _

Never mind, the look in his eyes said it all.

"Aww…" If there was one thing neither his father nor he would ever turn down it was a big booby lady. "Are you on your own?"

"Oh no, my father sent Padfoot with me."

"A dog, dear?"

"He's really smart, we're buying ice cream; would you like to join us?" She giggled, "I'm Procyon."

"I'm Melanie Edgecomb, are you sure you're safe?"

"Yes." He realized that, as he walked them to Florean Frotesque, that she was of Child Services. "Do you have any younger sisters?"

"Oh no, deary, just a daughter."

"With all due respect, ma'am, my name is Procyon." He had been a shy little boy named Harry Potter once upon a time.

"Now, now, dear, what can you tell me of your father?" He waved his hand dismissively.

"He has business and trusts me enough to go by myself to Diagon Alley."

"Mother, there he is!" He took his chance to order his father's lime flavored ice cream and placed the plate at a random outdoor table as his cousin, Narcissa Malfoy, ran interference with the social worker. His jumped up father dug right in as Procyon motioned the two Malfoy family members over. "Your dog looks like the Grim."

"His name is Padfoot. He was a present from my father a little after I turned five."

"You must shop with us, Procyon."

"It would be an honor to meet the beautiful Narcissa Malfoy." Indeed, though her boobs weren't the biggest, they were wonderfully perky.

"I wasn't aware Regulus had any children."

"Uncle didn't have any children as far as I know and I'm the youngest on the tapestry." Narcissa turned sheet white and looked at Padfoot whose tongue was lolling as he took a break from the half eaten ice cream. "Father would be ever so grateful if this were to remain between our families."

"Mother what is he talk—_oh_!" The younger Malfoy looked at him, slack jawed. He leaned forward and hissed out quietly: "Your father is Sirius Black."

"That doesn't matter." He stood. "I was going to buy my trunk next would the two of you like to join us?"

"Of course, young man." Narcissa grabbed her still shell-shocked son and dragged him towards the trunk shop.

* * *

He was having second thoughts about going to Hogwarts as his smile became more strained.

"Alright, here's your camera!" He put the straps around his father's neck and received a slobbery kiss to the cheek.

"I'll miss you." Sirius Black was world renowned for being a harsh criminal. He released whine as Procyon stood and walked to the train with a purpose.

It was quite simple, yet complex at the same time:

He would make his father proud no matter what! He found an empty compartment and set about reading the ill advised magazine for _any_ pureblood heir, _The Quibbler_, and listened to the comings and goings of his future schoolmates.

His father often encouraged the runic schemes offered in this magazine—"Hello, we're looking for a toad!"

She was an okay sight, plain even, and her blood status was apparent from the way she was dressed.

"What's your name?" He meant her bloodline.

"Hermione Granger, what's yours?" She walked in, uninvited and held out her hand.

"Let's start again." He said with a tilt of amusement in his voice. "There are certain traditions in our society which are the norm."

"So?" Procyon flinched. "Maybe if this so-called society were to take the steps forward and—"

"Why _are_ you here? Do you view our culture as barbaric simply because a woman who asks for a man's name is implying that she's interested in a relationship or something?" She rolled her eyes.

"There is nothing wrong with progress—" Perhaps ignoring her would get the point across that he wasn't the least bit interested in marriage?

"'Sup, Neville."

"Hey, Procryon. Go easy on her, she's proposed to me, too." He glared at her.

"Are you _trying_ to make a feud, milady?" He stood and pulled out his wand. "I'm afraid we'll have to duel, Neville!"

"Come on, I'm looking for Trevor!"

"Fine, spoil my homemade dramas, you know how he likes little girl knickers?" She was reading his copy of the Quibbler! "Try checking the toilets."

"Why does he—?"

"Panties are the next best thing on earth, Neville." He choked and ran. "May I have my magazine back?"

"What kind of creature is a _heliopath_?"

"A made up one, this magazine's rune puzzles are to die for, though."

"How do you know Neville?"

"We went to the same tutor together." Among no others, the old man had been a bore and Procyon had had a jolly time trying to make him keel over from a heart attack. "May I have my magazine back?"

"I'm almost done with this article."

"I think I'll get changed while you're here and _reading_." Her cheeks flushed as he pulled out his trunk and then…

"Take your useless rag!" She slammed it on the seat and ran out. His dad would be pissed if he found out he had been less then gentlemanly to a girl.

He shuddered at the time a girl had pushed into him and he had yelled at her for ruining his clothing.

"Procyon, I found him!"

"Good on you, old friend." Though they knew not each other's surname.

"How do you know where to find him?"

"Toads like water?" He tried before Neville looked at Trevor, while whining sweet nothings.

"You didn't come with Padfoot."

"Dad says I have to earn a new pet."

"Wow…" Procyon had had to earn everything in his life after his father had claimed he was becoming "a pansy of a little daddy's boy". "Well… my Gran is still getting owls from Dumbledore."

"I maintain that you should agree with the Boy-Who-Lived thing."

"But I'm not, everyone knows that it was Harry Potter."

"Neville, your Gran even said it was okay… this is the only thing you've ever said no to."

"She's my Gran and—"

"They say that Harry Potter is supposed to be on the train today!" Procyon shared a look with Neville.

"Wouldn't he—he be sitting in the open?" Procyon jumped to Neville's defense before Malfoy could take offense.

"He has a scar on his forehead and everything, it glows and shoots lightening at the foul and impure."

"He's saying that Potter's scar would have killed him."

"And it would give you like… flower power!"

"That doesn't even make sense!" Procyon rolled his eyes and looked at Malfoy.

"We're debating the importance of flower power. Potter isn't here… make sure you watch out for the muggleborn who is trying to break hearts."

"She just doesn't know our culture—"

"Flower power."

"What—?"

"Your catchphrase would be Lily Wrists!" He contemplated. "Well your move would be—" He struck an odd pose with his arms stretched forward. "You'd have your arms stretched out like this and then you'd have to shout your attack: _Lily Wrists_!"

Their compartment door slammed shut.

"You're into tomfoolery today."

"Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full…"

"Sure thing." Neville was interrupted by Procyon as he began a greeting.

"Say your new catchphrase."

"Oh Merlin…" Neville struck the pose that Procyon had given, "_Lily Wrists…_"

"That was beautiful…" He turned to the redhead. "My name is Procyon, pleased to make your acquaintance."

He sniggered for a moment, most likely at his name.

"I'm Ron Weasely." A full name given before the feast? His father had told him that Weasely was a surname to be weary of.

They each developed strange obsessions.

"I'm Neville."

"Neville, Trevor is escaping."

"What?" The toad had chosen perfect timing! Neville ran right after him.

"Sit down, Weasely." He knew what his eyes showed, coldness like no other.

"Why?"

"You asked to sit here, so do it." He obliged.

"What's wrong?"

"I doubt that I'll be in Gryffindor and Neville is the only one to _ever_ stand up to me. I want you to watch him and keep him safe. He has the courage to beat all, but he's nice above all else." He glared and stood. "I can admit that he's easy to bully, if I _ever_ catch you hurting him… you'll regret it. I swear it as the son of a Marauder."

"Marauder?"

"Yes, my father was one of the Marauders." He sat back down

"My older brothers look up to them!"

"You'll remember to defend him, right? I _was_ raised by one." But he had never succeeded in pranking him.

"Yeah, can I tell Fred and George?"

"After the feast." Procyon returned to his magazine runic scheme just as Neville returned.

"Procyon." Neville sounded upset.

"Did you throw your Lily Wrists at it?"

"What? No! Trevor won't get off the roof!"

"Sucks to be him, he better remember to hold on!"

"Come on, can't you get him?" He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Why would I ride on the roof of a train?" He paused, "Actually…"

"You're in better shape than me and you make it sound cool?"

He opened the window and slid to the roof surprised at how close it actually was… marking the room, he looked around carefully he ran at the toad who went the other way.

He caught him while giving a success squeeze.

"Got ya, ya bastard!" He ran to his spot and tossed him into the compartment.

"Is someone up there?!" A decidedly female and geriatric voice sounded.

"No, ma'am, it was just my toad!" Neville was a master liar, never hesitating for a moment to protect Procyon.

"Okay!" Her voice became more cheerful, "That's good since we'll be arriving in another half hour."

And now he had to piss. He did the only thing he could and unzipped his fly and then…

"_I'm walking on sunshine, whoa  
I'm walking on sunshine, whoa  
I'm walking on sunshine, whoa  
And don't it feel good  
Hey, all right now  
And don't it feel good  
Hey, yeah_!"

"Are you _really _pissing off the side of the train?" Weasely shrieked in horror.

"Not anymore!" He set himself straight and _barely_ ducked under the bridge that had appeared.

"Are you alive?" Neville called.

"Yeah!"

They passed from under the bridge and he sat up, dangling his legs over the edge.

* * *

"Hey!" Procyon shouted as the giant of a man began leading the first years away. "Get me off of here!"

_Everyone_ looked at him, the first year on the roof of the train, his tie wrapped around his head as a sweatband.

He was icky and couldn't wait to take a shower; he probably had sunburn, too.

The man didn't even have the height to reach him, so tall was the train. He rubbed his bearded chin and sighed, "I'mma get a pr'fessor, I'll take tha rest o' tha firsties and be back for ya later."

"Can't ya magic me off?" He was already walking away and made no indication he had heard. Procyon contemplated jumping off but knew better when he was left behind… an eleven-year-old alone in a dark and dangerous train station… he feared for his virtue.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the mirror, contemplating getting in contact with his father.

That would be stupid; his father would demand something stupid like one upping this next year.

"This sucks." He pulled out his issue of _The Quibbler_ and actually began to _read_ the thing.

[***]

"Come along, young man!" A huffy witch snapped.

"I hope I'm in your favorite house, Miss!"

"That will be _Professor McGonagall_ to you!"

"I really see a beautiful friendship blooming from here on out, it starts with me being sorted into your favorite house."

"You have delayed the sorting ceremony enough!" Procyon sighed in an over exaggerated manner.

"We'll have to delay it further for you to tell me the secret of your favorite house."

"You are very fortunate I cannot take points." She practically hissed.

"Ooh, feisty!" Neville openly face palmed as he said the last words in front of _everyone_. "Don't I get a cold shower first?"

"Enough! I will announce you to the school, get yourselves ready!" He stood next to Neville and pulled out the mirror he'd be contacting his father with. He looked like a schoolyard rebel.

"Thank Merlin I haven't gotten a sunburn!" His hair was sticky against his forehead maintaining the hair that he kept over his scar. Just as father wanted. "I look sexy with a tan…"

"I say that you're insane." Weasely said sagely as the double doors burst open. They stepped forward into the Great Hall as he slipped his two way mirror into his pocket.

"Abbot, Hannah!"

He hoped… he knew she was hesitating to say it.

_My name is that of a convicted killer… _

"B—Black, Procyon."

"_A Black in Hogwarts?"_

"_What's Dumbledore thinking?" _

"_I say he's going to be a troublemaker…" _

He took his steps forward without hesitation and felt the hat dropped onto his head.

"_I see that you only want to make your father proud, Harry Potter, do not forget your mother. From what I see Hufflpuff won't suit you at all, but Gryffindor will stifle you… you have the cunning but not the drive for Slytherin… better be…_ RAVENCLAW!"

The tie on his forehead surged with magic as it changed color and he handed the hat back to McGonagall with a bow required of a gentleman handing _anything_ to a lady.

He sat at the very edge watching his two potential friends get sorted into Gryffindor.

Neville still liked him at least.

The sorting ended with a wizard named Blaise Zabini and then the Headmaster made a few announcements with a comment on his prank. His new Head of House had stood and whispered to him, "You will come with me to the headmaster's office, Mister Black."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"How do we get in contact with your guardian? He must be informed." Procyon shuddered and looked around wildly.

"Please don't tell him…"

"Mister Black, I assure you nothing bad will happen to you—"

"It's not that, I promise you that… it's just…" He hesitated and sighed, "You'll see." He whipped out the mirror and called clearly into the mirror. "Sirius Black!"

"What happened, my ickle trouble on legs?"

"I'm in the headmaster's office, father."

"Did you steal his commemorative candy plate like we planned?"

"I can't do that anymore."

"Hand it to me, Mister Black." Dumbledore glared into the mirror.

"Hey, Professor Dumbledore, my son _has_ caused some mayhem correct?"

"What happened to Harry Potter?"

"This _is_ about my boy, correct?"

"Albus," McGonagall said in warning.

"Your son rode on the roof of the Hogwarts Express all the way to Hogsmeade Station." Silence as Snape smirked at him, possibly because he expected some anger.

Bark like laughter filled the air and his father began choking as he continued his cackles. After fifteen minutes he had calmed himself well enough to say simply:

"I expect great things from you, my ickle trouble on legs… great things indeed. Try to make the paper next year, okay?"

"_Dad_!" He whined, "I want to study!"

"No! No son of mine will be a bookworm without malicious intentions!"

"But…"

"Did you make Gryffindor like we discussed?"

"No…"

"And that's why you can't have the early edition of the Nimbus 2001. Listen up, my son, you're going to have to step up your game if you want anything other than a prank for Yule."

"Yes, Father…"

"And I expect another meeting like this if you don't want me to send Kreature to embarrass you like you begged me not to."

"Yes, Father…" He was sagging in depression.

"Hey, son…"

"Yeah, dad?"

"Chin up; I'm sure you'll find a gullible victim within a week. I heard Snivellous is teaching so practice your skills on him."

"He's a professor!" Dumbledore had long since handed the mirror to him.

"You'll never be one of the cool kids who everyone likes for being an arse like I was."

"Why does it matter?"

"You'll never get laid for one?"

"When was the last time you did?"

"I _was_ going to meet up with Linda, why?"

"_Dad_! She's a dirty whore!"

"Enough!" Sprout took control and snatched the mirror from his hands. "We will find you, Black, and I will see to it personally that you are Kissed!"

"Not by you, right?" Procyon slapped his forehead as his father gave a particularly arse-holish laugh.

"I'm sorry, Professor, he's just a child in a manwhore's body!"

"Yeah!" His father agreed, "Don't let this sexy body fool you, I'm as youthful as ever."

"Bye, dad…" He canceled the call only to have it vibrate again. He shivered and reactivated the call.

"Make the front page next year and I'll let you do whatever you want with your time."

"Yes, father."

"Love you, son!"

"Love you, too." The Professors were agape and Procyon stated coldly, "I'd like to go to my common room now."

* * *

His tie was still on his forehead as he received his timetable the next morning.

He approached Gryffindor table and cheerfully greeted Neville.

"Hey, Neville!"

"Hey…" He didn't receive eye contact.

"Did something happen?"

"Get out of here, Black." Two third years, twins by the looks of it, had their wands drawn and ready to strike. He raised his hands and said calmly.

"I'm just greeting a friend."

"We set him straight last night; he doesn't want to deal with you from now on." He pursed his lips.

"Don't eat the treacle tart tonight." He went to the kitchens, knowing the potions to use.

* * *

After missing his entire day of classes, he watched the Gryffindor table, patiently waiting…

"What did you do?" A first year boy whispered to him.

"You'll see." The screams came quickly as each of the redheads at the table began screaming.

_Shit… _

A prefect had gotten caught up in the mind poison he had brewed and asked the house elves to put in each redheaded Gryffindor's bite.

He had learned that house elves became blubbering masses when it came to minor kindnesses.

"Spiders!" The youngest shouted as he began clawing at his face, "They're all over me! GET THEM OFF, GET THEM OFF, GET THEM OFF!"

Whispers would follow him, even as he was lead to the headmaster's office.

* * *

"You attacked a family of Gryffindors?"

"Yes, Father…"

"You have some _balls_, my boy!"

"What?"

"Oh yeah, no one messed with a whole family since they each have their strengths and weaknesses, know how to compliment each other, and have fierce loyalty to each other. Really now, what you did was on epic proportions, you can go without pranking anyone if you don't want to for the rest of the year."

"Thanks, dad!"

"Mister Black, you are—you are…"

"You know what, try to toe the line between suspension and detention… you'll do a great job, I know it!"

"But…"

"A _great_ job for a Nimbus!"

"I'll try…"

"That's all I ask." The mirror went blank.

"So… detention?"

"For a full week." The Headmaster said.

"With me." McGonagall stated.

"I thought you were going to leave me at Professor Snape's mercy or something!"

"That is a thought."

* * *

He had gladly bought and copied his notes from his year mates on the first day of lessons and was ignoring the fearful gaze of the common room.

This edition of the Quibbler specialized in Egyption runes! But he was getting sick of the stares by the time he finished and had decided to examine the library.

"Procyon!" He turned with a smile at Neville who looked genuinely worried. "They said that they were going to have your wand snapped!"

"Just detention with McGonagall."

"Are you okay?"

"My dad is being an arse." He admitted.

"Is he really Sirius Black?"

"Yeah." It was bound to come up.

"Oh…" Neville must have felt like an arse.

"What happened in class today?"

"Well…"

* * *

It wasn't until the next week he had formally met Professor Snape. Potions was always fun, and his mum had been good at it so that was all the more reason for liking it… he hadn't wanted anything bad to happen in his class and his dad said that the best potions required the basics…

"Mister Black, are you paying attention?"

"I'm taking notes, sir." He stopped scribbling and looked his Professor in the eye. He was too young for Occlumency beyond meditation and was glad that the Professor took the bait… _I know you're a legilimens…_

He broke contact without hesitation when he felt him reach further in.

Potions was a boring affair as they brewed the potion from a prank his father had given to him after a backfired prank.

[***]

"Flying!" He spread his arms and ran around the common room reminiscent of a muggle flying contraption. "It's about time!"

"He's barmy…" They _clearly_ weren't quite used to his silliness just yet.

"Shut up!" He sing songed, "Today is an awesome day dedicated to _flying_!"

They had the morning with Hufflepuff and Gryffindor would have Slytherin.

_Poor Neville… _

"Mister Black!" He leapt soundly over his panicked Head of House. He ran to the wall and stopped, not even winded. He turned slowly and asked his head of house:

"What am I needed for?"

"I was checking on my Raven's, what's got you so…?"

"A little thing called… _flying_!" He did a handstand, using the wall for support; his under robes were muggle clothing of the highest caliber.

Way more comfy too.

He cart wheeled to his feet as Flitwick clapped his hand in delight.

"Good show, five points to Ravenclaw!"

"If I put on a circus show can I earn a hundred?"

"Of course!" He paused in thought for a moment before pouting.

"Where can I find a crumple-horned snorkack on such short notice?"

"Maybe another day?"

"Hopefully…"

"Alright, first years please come with me!"

* * *

Astronomy was a breeze!

"Mister Black!" Professor Sinistra demanded his attention, more like her chest did, but still! "What planet am I pointing to?"

"Mars, it's pretty bright…" Neville was still scribbling the answers from his completed worksheet. "You've moved your hand to—"

"Enough, continue on!"

"How are you so good?" Granger demanded in a hiss.

"His family naming tradition comes from the stars and their constellations." Neville whispered, finishing the answers, Weasely was following closely…

Why did he sit with the Gryffindors?

"Why don't you guys just—"

"Mister Black, five points from Ravenclaw for cheating!"

"Who was I cheating off of, if I may ask?"

"Miss Granger."

"She hasn't even finished."

"Looking at another students—"

"She's the only one still scribbling." He held up his parchment and pointed his holly wand at it. "_P__roject membrana_. These are all of my answers."

"Put those answers away now!" There was a collective scribbling and sigh of disappointment when he obliged. "Fifteen points from Ravenclaw!"

Weasely had finished and was helping the next Gryffindor.

* * *

"Up!" His was the only one in his hand, his father had already drilled him in everything there was to know.

"Up!" The girl next to him shouted.

"You're being too tense."

"Shut up, Black! Why would I need your help?"

"It could have something to do with the fact that I'm the only one with a broom in my hands."

"_Shut up_!" Patil's broom smacked her clean across the face before falling limp.

"You've got the right amount of force, I see."

"Madam Hooch, Black bewitched my broom!" Everything stopped and he face-palmed.

"Miss Patil, you're being silly these brooms are so old they can't even be repaired! Everyone keep trying!" Procyon felt pity as he turned to the Hufflepuff next to him.

"Finch-Fletchely, you should relax your shoulders."

"Up! Thanks, mate." Another twenty minutes had passed before everyone held their brooms.

"Alright, mount up and we'll be flying in three… two… one!" She blew her whistle and Procyon was the first in the air.

_A series of acrobatics later… _

"Mister Black, you will land this instant!" He didn't hesitate mid-corkscrew as he dove and landed right in front of her. "Really now, where did you learn _that_ from?"

"Father."

"Your father…!" She looked so hateful that he actually flinched. She caught herself and cleared her throat. "I don't recall him being much of a flyer."

"He actually trapped me in his pensive and made me watch the quidditch games he'd seen in his lifetime."

"What else did he do?"

"He said he wishes I were more like a chaser instead of a seeker."

"James Potter was a chaser."

"I know." The hatred was back but he trudged on. "Father never did receive a trial."

He wanted to be able to walk through the public without his father in Padfoot's furs.

"Mister Black, everyone knows he was—"

"He's my dad and I believe in him." Procyon knew she was refraining from several choice words and counted himself lucky to be her student rather than a stranger in the street.

* * *

All first years had the day off and Procyon was flying a good distance from the Gryffindor-Slytherin flying practice.

Ravenclaw Quidditch Chaser, Roger Davies, was watching him. "Sucks to be that kid."

He looked and gaped, "Bloody hell!"

"Where are you going?"

"Madam Hooch might need someone to watch, that's a sprained wrist right there." He was proven right when both he and Davies landed. "Will he be alright?"

"Just a sprained wrist, Davies, I put you in charge until a Professor comes out here. Come along, Longbottom."

"Look here!" Malfoy, a boy he had managed to avoid since the day he went shopping with him, began a ruckus. "Maybe if he had had this when he fell, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat arse!"

Davis put a hand on his shoulder, snapping him back into logic.

"Give it here, Malfoy!"

"Why don't you come get it?" He kicked off and Davis let him go immediately after.

"In honor of our alliance I—" Malfoy really was a spoiled little shit…! Malfoy took off flying as Weasely joined them.

"There's no talking to the spoiled—"

"I'll handle this." He took off and didn't look back.

"What happened, Black, are you upset that your boyfriend broke the wrist he wanks you with?"

"Yes, actually, but it's more like the fact that you have four extras." He needed to dull his tongue a bit. Never had they stopped flying. Weasely had caught up. "Give me the ball."

"Go get it!" He didn't hesitate and flew into the branches of the whomping willow.

_His father had one in the backyard far older and wiser than this one, and had made him fly against it to punish him the first and last time he had been rude to a girl… _

He dodged with practiced ease out of the branches as McGonagall called for him to land along with Weasely and Malfoy.

Procyon bowed to McGonagall and held out his hand where the remembrall lay.

* * *

"Suspension!" His father shouted through the mirror, "Do you know how hard it is for one to maintain a social life with kids around your house?"

"Father—"

"What did you do?"

"I—"

"Mister Black interrupted the afternoon flying and instigated a fight between himself and Misters Malfoy and Weasely." He glared at her; they _had_ pushed everything onto him! "He recklessly flew into the whomping willow and—"

"I'd like to hear it from my son, Minnie." He hesitated, "Go on, boy!"

"I was only trying to save Neville's remembrall… I tried to ask Malfoy to give it to me but he just flew off… Weasely didn't do much, even when Malfoy threw it into the whomping willow." He looked at his father's incredulous face.

"You risked your wellbeing for a remembrall. Why didn't you just wait for it to smash so you could give him one?"

"It was a gift from his Gran!"

"That's very lion like of you, my boy!" He blushed and glared.

"Aren't you supposed to be discussing my punishment?"

"I'm proud of you, but at the same time disappointed that you disobeyed me."

"I understand—"

"Mister Black, your son will not be suspended until we finish getting the stories from all of the other students."

"Just detentions?"

"We shall see when Filius finishes with the chaser." The door burst open in allowance to Flitwick.

"Mister Black, you will receive a detention for each school night until October. You have the option of being in reserve for the quidditch team as well."

"He says absolutely yes!"

"Dad!"

"You see? He's agreeing with me."

"_E__y bol'shoy tranzhira!"_ [1]

"Are you in a strip club?" The woman's voice was a thick Russian accent and it had only taken him a moment to realize what she had said.

"Yes, I actually just got in." He didn't hesitate to cancel the connection lest his father reveal his location.

"Mister Black, you are dismissed." He left the room without hesitation.

* * *

The Nimbus in his hands he idly wondered if his teammates wanted one—"My dad could buy—"

"We don't want your money, Black."

"Sure thing." He wouldn't let their coldness ruin his good mood, nope, nope, nope! "When does practice start?"

"Gryffindor hasn't finished." Davies was the only one talking to him out of the whole team and even that was coldness.

"Why don't we do some warm-ups?"

"They're still on their brooms, Black."

"No, I mean physical conditioning." They _all_ looked at him. "You know… running, pull-ups, or pushups?"

"Black—"

"My father said that the professional teams all practice physical conditioning before a good practice." He grinned widely, "It would also give us an excuse to be out on the field."

"Don't fall for it!" A familiar, very Gryffindor voice shouted, "He's a Slytherin at heart."

"Piss off, Weasely."

"Ron, you gave away our position." Procyon slapped his forehead and snapped:

"It doesn't take a snake to be sneaky." His wand out he shot a minor stinger to the voices.

"_Ouch_!"

"Procyon, we're leaving."

"_Finite Incantatum_." They're notice-me-not charm cancelled he asked in his most patient voice: "Why are the two of you in women's knickers?"

"Oi!"

"They said that it was all we could wear…"

"They lied, go to the Weasely twins and tell them to give you your robes back, Dumbledore has an invisibility cloak… admit to _it_ and get it, Neville."

"How would you know that?"

"But, Procyon…"

"Listen to me! Both of you are in a _bad_ position… if we wanted we could get you for sexual harassment and invasion of privacy… leave right now and you'll get off scot free." Neville obliged pulling Ron along. He rounded on his teammates. "Let's start with warm-ups."

* * *

Procyon finished his last dot on the essay and hid it with the rest of his work.

"Black!"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to the Halloween feast?"

"No, my mum died today." Chang and Edgecomb shared an annoyed look. "What?"

"Nothing." They left as quickly as they came. He rolled his eyes when he canceled the joke set up by someone.

"Amateurs." He would spend the next few hours in the library if he had his way. He had some exploration to do first…

* * *

He was enjoying the shizz out of his cockroach clusters, as stolen from Honeydukes, when…

"AHHHHHHH!" His eyes widened at the sight of the troll, he hoped his girlish screams had no witnesses… "I'mmagunnadie!"

He was dead, since his father had told him trolls ran faster than the wolves they hunted… he threw his remaining cockroach clusters into the trolls mouth. It paused mid stride as it chewed up the supplies. He _looked_ at him and pointed at himself.

"Chunk." He gawped for just a moment when he pointed to himself:

"Procyon." He closed the distance between them and the troll picked him up and asked.

"How to leave?"

"Er…" He gulped and answered, "We're on the third floor. We'll need to head to the first floor and out of the front door." The troll placed him on his shoulder and Procyon wondered what his father would expect next if anyone caught wind of this. "Go straight ahead."

"Black, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Weasely already had his wand pointed and thinking of a spell.

"_I_ just so happen to be helping a new friend home!" Neville face palmed. "Alright, make a right here…"

The two Gryffindors followed all the way to the entrance hall where Professor Dumbledore was asking the teachers—"Have any of you found it?"

"Easy there, Chunk!"

"Mister Black?!"

"And Chunk." He added as he told the troll to walk out the entrance hall. "Is this where you came in from?"

"No, Procky!"

"Can you name anything you saw before coming in?"

"Chunk was forced in sleep before waking up here!"

"I heard there are centaurs here, do you trust them?"

"Firenze."

"What?"

"Firenze is the talking of between species!"

"Is he a centaur?"

"Yeah, Procky!"

"Can you go to the forest by yourself?"

"No."

"Its right there, I kinda need to go back to my—" He shrieked as the troll took off running, effectively kidnapping him.

* * *

The next morning he had come back to Hogwarts thanks to the kindness of Kreature II. It had taken him half an hour to think of the young house elf when he had reached the troll camp. He winced at the particularly loud boom made by the _Just-As-Bitchy-As-His-Father_ house elf.

At least this one liked the members of the Black household, him being the only one.

"Master Procyon, sir!" In front of the Great Hall he entered, a great medallion on his neck and a matching studs and rings on his ears, the teen house elf shrieked with joy, "Master is going to be so pissed!"

"Don't sound too happy, will you?" He was smelly, cold, and achy.

Particularly where that female had pierced his ears.

"Master, master, master!"

"What?"

"I is telling Master Black everything!"

"Wha—?!" _POP!_ "Ah, poopie."

"Now then," Dumbledore spoke, "The student that was kidnapped last night is back, enjoy your breakfast!"

He grabbed a single apple, ignored the flinches, and ran to the Ravenclaw common room where a shower couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

When dinner came he noted that Dumbledore had a howler sitting in front of him. The headmaster sighed noticeably and opened the letter with obvious sadness. It flew to Procyon and he groaned.

"PROCYON, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RIDING ON STRANGE TROLLS AFTER THE LAST ONE TRIED TO KIDNAP YOU?" He wanted to sink away from the world… maybe to the center where no one would find him? Nobody needed to know about that! "OH RIGHT! MAKE THEM BUY YOU DINNER FIRST! IF YOU CALL ON KREATURE JUNIOR FOR SOMETHING LIFE THREATENING AGAIN I'M PULLING YOU OUT OF HOGWARTS!" Procyon slumped when the howler showed a set of hands, and turned to the headmaster… did his father have to flip the headmaster off? Did he have to humiliate him like this? "PROCYON, YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR THE PEIRCINGS THIS YULE! PADFOOT IS OUTTIE!"

"A classic show from a Marauder everyone!" The sniggers he had been ignoring turned into all out laughter.

"Thanks, dad…" He grumbled.

* * *

When Yule did come he went up to the scruffy looking man who was watching him in a less then casual manner, "Are you Moony?"

"Why yes, young man, who would you be?"

"Procyon Black, pleased to make the acquaintance of the man my father speaks so highly of." He waited for the hand to be extended as a show of respect. "Er… I understand…"

"Where's your father?"

"Probably waiting for you to leave, he told me about that spell."

"I see." He sniffed the air and walked with a purpose towards the alley his father had mentioned he'd be hiding in. _Shit…_ the black dog ran out as Lupin shouted for Aurors. "That's Black! Get him!"

He transformed, grabbed onto him, and… nothing happened. "Dad, I'm scared…"

"They have the anti-disapparition jinx up, lad, I'm afraid this is the end our game." _One last hug…_ "I'll always be proud of you."

"Wait!" The Aurors were already prying him off as Procyon held on. "No! Don't take my dad from me!"

"Listen, kid, we don't want to hurt you… but he killed the Boy-Who-Lived and his family."

"He didn't!"

"Procyon…" Sirius Black had a pleading look about him, something which hadn't happened since the day they had met. "Don't!"

"A little after my fifth birthday, Sirius Black escaped Azkaban with me on his back…_ I_ was the reason he escaped." He spoke quietly as his father told him to stop, begging. "Once upon a time there was a sad little boy who lived in the cupboard under the stairs. One night he dared to escape and look through the trash for extra food. He was caught, beaten, and thrown outside like a bad dog!"

"Please, my boy, they won't—"

"Yes they will, dad, they'll send me back!" He didn't hesitate as he continued. "When he looked to the sky he wished for family, somewhere far away a man had a wish quite like it. I don't know how it happened but I was there… that little boy is me…" He hesitated… he father had told him once… "He told me if I ever admitted to who my mum had named me to be I'd be back in that cupboard so I took the name he gave me and left the sad little boy behind!"

"SHUT UP!" His father shouted in a desperate manner. "YOU WON'T GO BACK!"

"I've had this for as long as I can remember." He lifted his bangs to show the aurors the scar. "I'm Harry Potter!"

_POP! POP! _

Two apparitions later they were somewhere definitely not his home.

As he looked at his father he knew… Sirius Black was pissed.

"We'll be pulling you out of Hogwarts. I'll see about moving us out of the country… were you going to tell them about how your mum cheated on James with me?"

"No!"

"You may as well have."

"I couldn't let them take you…" He closed his eyes to hold back the tears as they leaked out. "You're all I have."

"Don't get sappy with me." He looked up in shock. "I had plans laid out with Gringotts that made it so that you'd be emancipated if I were to be captured, killed, or Kissed. You would be your own man right now, you'd have a fortune to squander, and you'd even be able to give me a proper burial."

"I don't want that, you're my dad!"

"Kiddo, I'll always be with you," His father pointed at Procyon's heart: "Here."

"Now who's getting sappy?"

"Shut up, you're the one who's crying!"

"You're the one paraphrasing crappy muggle films!"

"Hey now, _ET_ was a bitchin' story!" His father laughed suddenly, "It's good to have you out of that girlishness."

"Where will I be going?"

"I was thinking France, Beauxbaton allows _everything_ with two legs that can use a wand."

"What about Durmstrang?"

"No, their headmaster is a convicted Death Eater."

"Oh…"

"We're going to speed up your French lessons and teach you more etiquette since that's big there… so get ready… tomorrow we depart for France!"

"_Oui_!"

* * *

"Master!" They both looked as the female elf, Kreature II's mother, continued crying. "Take Winnie with you!"

"Okay, anyone else want to come?" The other two agreed, Kreature and Kreature II. "We're going to that old vacation home off of Italy's shore, the one in Malta… too bad about Beauxbaton, I heard they allow Veela."

"Atlantis seems cool!"

"Ah… another school with potential. Let's hope that they assume the big ones are where we go." He paused and spoke sharply. "Den asteía epicheíri̱si̱, eímai katálava?" [2]

"Nai, o patéras!" [3]

"Okay, those potions have better work their magic, we all speak Greek to Procyon, am I understood?"

"Nai, ploíarchos!" [4] The house elves each chorused.

He hoped he could pull this off.

* * *

A few weeks later, he had made it to the tunnels to Atlantis in Greece.

His Greek was clumsy by his father's standard, but he saw pride when he had less then elaborately snapped a simple _screw you_ right back at an insult he didn't quite get.

"Alright, Mister Black." The Greek that flowed from the woman's mouth was sweet to the ears. "You are new so we will go through the rules. There is no casting in the tunnels, no casting without supervision outside of the stone arenas, and all curses cast are registered within the arena. I hope you understand… if a tunnel breaks we will all be flooded!"

"I understand perfectly."

"The libraries are in the stone arenas, there are a few lazing areas, and you should know that your dormitory is in the singular division since that was all we have left. All students brought to your room will be logged by way of a tracking spell on the door… if you would please come with me?"

"Yes, madam." She brought him to his room and handed him a key-card.

"It is replaceable if you lose it but please notify staff as soon as you do since we need to find it before someone steals something from your room. Spell casting is allowed within your room as well, but please refrain from combat spells and stick to charms, transfiguration, and enchantments." The room was built like a hotel. "You've brought your own house elf?"

"I'm allowed?"

"Yes, summon one of them right now and they will be in charge of your things. If you do not have one then you will be in charge of keeping your things organized."

"Kreature II!" His father had given the thing to him as a seventh birthday present. "You are my personal elf, you will be attending my needs."

"Yes, master."

"Where do they stay?"

"There's a cupboard within each single for house elves." Ahh… he was within the rich child section. No wonder his father wanted him within a dormitory! He didn't say anything as the woman explained that his books would be given to him in his classes. "If that is all, here is the complete rule book with guides and maps of our school. Remember: No Elopement!"

He blushed hard as Kreature II sniggered… the woman left and Procyon rounded on the elf.

"Do you think you can do this?"

"I is following master wherever you is going!"

"Good, make sure that no one enters except for me, I saw a dame _I_ for one would like to _see_." So he was curious of the opposite sex, who cared if—oh, she had a boyfriend. He went closer anyway as she spoke too fast for Procyon to understand.

"I love you!" The boy proclaimed in a girlish voice before rounding on Procyon. "Honey, can I help you with something?"

"I'm new and was hoping to say hello."

"Aww…" The caramel girl cooed. "Well, this is Agapios, I'm his twin sister, Aziza!" She shot him a stern look, "You're not here to make fun of him?"

"No… I was hoping to… talk?" He shot her a pointed look and she shooed her brother away. "I think you're pretty."

"I'm a lesbian." He flinched back when she burst out laughing. "That's the worst way to turn a guy down, don't you think? I was talking with my brother and he suggested that I do that to the first guy that confesses interest in me… well, I think it's funny, don't you? My brother should be around the corner laughing, I know it!" Her nattering was kinda cute. "Well, I gave you my name!"

"I'm Procyon Black." She didn't exactly ask, but it was implied. She knew enough about basic customs. He liked that.

"Black, isn't that an English word for a color?"

"It's my surname."

"Ooh, you're the English boy?" Her tone changed as she leaned forward and he could _swear_ her pupils became cat like slits for just a moment. "Let's get to know each other more."

Her brother came right back over.

* * *

The twins talked.

A lot.

Like more than necessary. He kept Aziza and her flamboyant brother out of his conversation with his father the next day when they spoke through the mirrors.

"Any friends?"

"Not much."

"You're still new." His father let him go soon after as he set about heading to his first class: Charms 1.

* * *

Classes were simpler and they learned a spell each lesson.

Apparently the first half of the year was dedicated to theory for first years and he had come here just in time.

"It must be fun!"

"Huh?"

"You learned spells in some of your classes the first day?"

"Yeah."

"What was it like?"

"The most interesting one was changing a matchstick into a needle and changing it back again."

"Wow." She said amidst giggles. Aziza began leading him to one of the libraries, this particular one was one he had avoided since the start of his time here. "Come on, there's nothing to fear."

"I won't practice the Dark Arts." He insisted, stubborn as ever.

"That's just a label. It doesn't matter when you do the ritual of cleansing."

"Great so there's a ritual you have to do?"

"Magic is neither cruel nor kind, magic is magic."

"With some aftereffects." He added, stopping short as she struggled to pull him in. "My father wouldn't approve."

"He doesn't have to know."

"He'll know." His father knew when he was keeping something from him. He had pried the information of his friends and the fact that not all of them were completely human. He approved of Aziza, at least. "He knows me better than anyone."

"I'll show you the ritual before we practice any spells, I just need a book."

"I'll wait for you here." Her cheeks puffed in that cute way of hers as she went in and left not a minute later.

"What's the ritual?"

She smiled.

* * *

_This thrill… _

"Black!"

_Do it again…_

"_Nu_—"

"_Stupefy_!" He parried with ease and froze at the shock on his friends' faces.

"Okay, don't practice any spells without us, you're too natural!" Agapios shrieked cheerfully while clapping his hands.

"What does that mean?" His wand hand was shaking.

"Let's do the cleansing ritual first." He hesitantly went to the circle in the middle and tapped the bowl with his wand. It shook and refilled. He poured the water over his head and the urges were gone like that. He dried himself with the magic he had learned here with well practiced ease.

"Dark Magic is your best suit, Black." Salem, his academic rival and a werewolf, said with mirth in his voice. "Are you sure you want to keep your creature within you secret?"

"My dad is pureblood."

"Your mum?" Aziza queried.

"I—I…" He hesitated. Everyone had pureblood relatives who kept them in here. "She was… I don't know the word for it here."

"She was a _mud child_?" It was said as though it were an insult. He glared at Agapios for his next words. "He's fully human!"

"Hn…" Salem looked down his nose at him, and his adopted sister, Dallas, covered her mouth with what must have been horror. "I knew there was something off about him."

"_Enough_!" But he was already walking away as Aziza jumped up to shout at them. She was their leader; she decided what they did… if she was defending him he didn't care since he had classes to study for anyway.

"Enough on you!" Someone shouted right back.

* * *

Friendship was a fickle thing; maybe he should have stuck with his friends in Hogwarts anyway? He completed his final pull-up that morning as Aziza watched. He had ignored them all and the school seemed all the more cold when word had spread.

"I told them to be nice." She said finally. He switched to pushups. He had been neglecting his health for these friends who had turned their backs on him not three days ago. "It's a shame that my brother is a bigot with all he puts up with his preference." He completed the final pushup and flipped over to do crunches. There was silence as she was steadily ignored. He had yet to speak to his father… he really needed to mention that. "Black, I want you to look at me and only me from now on."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He looked at her and saw the odd look in her eyes, he liked it. Her eyes were their cat like slits when she looked at him this time. He loved the way she licked her lips. "Well?"

"I want you." She pounced onto him with grace and then they—

* * *

Were interrupted in the most embarrassing way ever!

"No elopement!" The Headmistress shrieked at them, "There is to be no elopement in this school!"

"It was just a kiss." He was pale… would they call his father in? _Oh… that would just be embarrassing._ His father would probably make silly joke after silly joke.

"I would never expect such a thing from you; your father was our most impeccable student!" The fireplace burst to life as his father stumbled out.

"What's the rush?" He asked in perfect Greek. He looked at him and Aziza and gave him a thumbs up. "You chose well, my son."

"Dad!" He sat in the chair next to him as the fires lit again allowing in a tall pale man and a caramel woman.

"I'm just saying, she's adorable and—" He switched to English here, "_Her mum is great shagging material_."

"We will be speaking of marriage, correct?" The father spoke before his father could keep going.

"No way!"

"My daughter is not a two bit slag for your son's amusement!"

"From what the letter said your daughter was on top."

"That doesn't matter, she may have been under a potion!" The woman rolled her eyes and stared her daughter down.

"Oh no, I just think he's a good first time." Procyon would have fainted but his father pinched him.

Hard.

"Don't say such things, my princess!"

"I mean it. I want to be like auntie!" The father only choked as Aziza's mum spoke up.

"Darling…" Her hair was oddly shaped on the sides… _like ears… oh!_ They twitched, "You really think you can control hormones with choice words?"

"Your mother is in charge of you from now on!"

"Please…" Aziza didn't seem the least bit fazed.

"I'd like to rent a chamber?"

"Free of charge." A keycard was handed over and she turned to his father. "Your boy was not at fault so I will not put a mark on his records."

"I can go?"

"Yes, sir… but!"

"But?"

"I want to commend you for raising a model student!" She smiled brightly as Procyon received a glare. "He will make a fine candidate for the advanced placement program next year."

"What's that?"

"He learns fast enough to skip certain areas of study and of course, Aziza is able as well, sir."

"My son?"

"He will be left behind."

"I see I'm sure that…" Aziza was looking bruised and battered while her mother had not a hair out of place. "Aziza you will be placed in advanced placement with your beau, don't mess things up."

"Ye—yes, father…" She flinched when her mother pat her head, smiling dotingly.

* * *

[1] Hey big spender!

[2] No funny business, am I understood?

[3] Yes, Father!

[4] Yes, master!

The translations of each thing used according to Google translate.

**I have a total of seven chapters including this one. I didn't like it a little before fifth year, it all went to shit when I threw in Fleur _Dalchiene_ Delacour. I never made it past fifth year, I will only share the details with someone who wants the whole thing (please give me your e-mail address so that I can send you the files) or someone who wants to continue it.**

**Let me know in a PM either way. If you want to review with a bit of critique please let me know so that I may better my writing skills. **

**Thanks for taking the time to view this.**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything had been going perfectly for Caeli Bellatrix Black, the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange and James Potter. There hadn't been a threat before her godfather, Sirius Black, escaped. FemHarry, Third Year—DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER

* * *

Caeli swore as she glanced at the man in the photo, "Ouch!" She was stricken atop the head by Grandmother Druella for her troubles.

"You may be Lord Black now but you are still a daughter of House Black!" She warned as she pulled out her wand. "You will not force such a putrid word from your mouth again."

Had she been her cousin and living his life, things would have gone far differently. She could have sneered with an attitude, she could have actually waved the scolding off, and she could have even thrown a tantrum… but she was not a Malfoy, she was a Black.

"You have my sincerest apologies, Grandmother Druella." She was a Black and she had to hold a certain thing called _grace_. "Do you think I shall be allowed to switch dorms?"

She had been going to her boarding school, Hogwarts, as a boy for the last two years due to the fact that _anyone_ of Black blood could—and would—take her place as Lord Black as long as a male holding the Black name chose to champion the potential heir.

The heir was in fact her cousin, Draco Malfoy, and she did not doubt he'd ruin her family's fortune and connections.

"Hmm, that boy was a wild thing… he won't go against you."

"He is a threat!" She squeaked, Caeli caught herself and looked pointedly at her grandmother. "I did my best to fit in with those disgusting little boys, I played their games and I won… as Arcturus always said: _all threats are best dead_…"

Druella tittered and gave her a kiss on the cheek before standing and leaving the kitchen. She frowned as she stared at the cackling madman in the photo, as a Slytherin she knew what to do… "I need you out of the picture, Sirius Black… I'll see you in Azkaban at the end of the year." She was a Slytherin, of the house of snakes, and a good snake always struck when it was opportune.

She reached forward and crumpled the front page.

* * *

"Kreature!" There was no hesitation, as it had always been since she had come to live with the Blacks, like she had grown up here.

"Little Mistress calls?" The ugly creature held himself hunched over, letting her know that it was nigh time she replaced him.

"I want you to take good care of Grandmother Druella and protect her from her estranged nephew." His eyes widened. "I expect her to be healthy when I return for Yule; if it is not so I hope that the healers say it was natural."

"Yes, little mistress." He caught the threat, though she did not know what she would do to punish him if he were to fail in Grandmother Druella's protection.

"I'll be going now, tell her that… I love her." Grandmother refused to speak to her beyond a good scolding, though it was understandable.

"_You should maintain your natural look."_ She recalled as she stepped out and hailed the knight bus.

"_Why? Do you still miss that poor excuse of a witch that badly?"_ Caeli had gotten her first taste of the Cruciatus in that one conversation and she now understood why the now dead Cassiopeia had never left them alone. She paid and sat in the back, enjoying the bouncy seats as the knight bus picked up one other fellow student.

Caeli was a metamorphmagus so could one blame others for trying to live out their fantasies with her? The biggest problem with what she was… was that she'd have trouble finding true friends, this year would be hard since the Black family had driven a hard bargain and she had accepted.

Would the girls even look at her as a friend after having lusted after her for the last two years? The worst had been the Girl-Who-Lived, Francine Longbottom. Caeli stood and stepped out of the knight bus. She released her transformation and walked to the platform to her school, 9 ¾.

She smiled at the magical sights before her. It did not break as she walked by her cousin, Draco Malfoy, being fretted over by his doting and loving mother, Aunt Narcissa Malfoy.

"_Who's that?"_ She heard someone whisper. She did dare look upon realizing that it was her crush, Peregrine Derrick, and she hoped that she was managing to push down her blush to the best of her abilities.

"_Caeli_?" Draco shouted, pretending to be shocked. Had he been a Black he would have had his mouth vanished as she had when she had whooped in delight at her first Quidditch match. With a wide smile she turned and waved, earning many gasps.

Caeli wasted no time getting on the train as Francine Longbottom made a hot mess of herself in her tears.

* * *

Upon beginning her latest muggle book on anatomy, the first one on women she would be allowed to read now that most of the Black men were dead, she was interrupted by…

"Everyone thinks you're gay now." Draco Malfoy said with a smirk, "I'm sure you'll be kicked off of the team now!"

"Good." She answered, her natural voice oddly alien to her ears, "I hated the locker room." She had nearly been caught several times during her time on the quidditch team.

"You're such a queer." He answered loudly as a Hufflepuff Prefect walked by. She knew what he was trying to do and she wasn't about to rise to the bait. "I'm waiting for Vince and Greg."

She ignored him, turning a page.

"Do you know what it's like to have friends? I want to compare what it is with you." Caeli lost her patience, remembering that he was a jerk to the very end.

"You know I want a mother, right?" She answered with a bright smile. "Can I have yours? Lord Black can take what she wants you know."

"Draco!" Nott entered the compartment a little after she returned to her book. She knew he was sneering at her but she couldn't care less.

Okay, maybe a little.

"I've always been a girl." She turned a page, "I'm having a meeting with the headmaster after dinner to see about moving to the girl's dormitory."

Who could blame her?

"We've been sharing the dorms with a girl." He groaned as he sat next to Draco. She adjusted the half up hairstyle that she wore with a ribbon.

"If you had checked me while I slept you would have known." She consoled, "I can't maintain my transformations while unconscious."

She turned to the next page, reaching the chapter on the chest—"They're so small…" She muttered to herself.

"What's that?" Zabini asked; she hadn't noticed him sitting next to her.

"A book on anatomy." She pointed to the picture. "Do other thirteen-year-old girls have breasts this small?"

She handed it to him and undid the front of her robes and read some more about the inner working of breasts of that variety and forced her chest down to the double-A's described.

Nott wasn't looking at her, "At least you're not that fat." Crabbe stated matter-of-factly as her under robes loosened up further.

She exhaled and her breasts expanded back to their B-Cups. Zabini was looking through her book and had skipped to the pictures of genitals.

"You're not a pervert," She said softly as she took it back. "But I need this book to keep my balance when I change my form."

* * *

Caeli felt like crying for a good long while as she made her way to the dungeons with Professor Snape at her side, "Miss Black."

"Yes, sir?" She didn't know what she'd do… what if they decided that they wanted to peep on her? What if they wanted to do gross things to her? She sniffled as she dried her tear ducts and reabsorbed the salt and water.

"Do not do anything rash this year." He walked her to the common room where everyone was waiting. No one asked any questions as she walked up the steps to the boy's dormitory. It was a fortunate thing that _everyone_, both living and dead, within the halls of Hogwarts feared Professor Snape. "Sleep well, Miss Black!"

Even the Bloody Baron.

"Thank you, sir!" She called back, though she heard the wall the wall to the Slytherin Common room shut before she had even uttered the first word. Grandmother Druella had allowed her to take a single book from the library; she had even suggested it to protect herself from the catty girls of Slytherin.

Caeli would be in for a long night…

"Well?" Zabini called mockingly as she pulled the book on area-curses out. "What are you doing here?"

Caeli placed the book onto her pillow and pulled out her sleeping robes. She looked back at them, "I'd prefer it if you left so that I may get changed."

"You're just like us," Nott jeered.

"I'm nothing like you," She smiled sweetly, "You're very fortunate that you five are little more than beasts to me." With shaking hands she hoped that they didn't notice she took off her over robes, careful to leave her wand within reaching distance. Maybe that basic jelly-leg jinx would do it if they tried to sexually assault her?

Caeli unbuttoned her under robes and picked up her sleeping robes, slipping off the top half of the under robes and pulling the lacy thing that barely reached mid thigh. She'd had the thing since she was eight—apparently lacy undergarments were what Bellatrix had favored and Grandmother Druella often forgot that she was her granddaughter rather than her daughter.

She pulled off the bottom half and lay down on her bed, content to read and enchant her area to be safe; Caeli pulled the curtains shut, as she did every night, and got to work. Their conversations weren't too different from their usual…

Upon casting her first spell, a spell that would burn anyone but someone who genuinely thought their name was Caeli Bellatrix Black if they stepped within two feet of her bed, she tried to sleep. Their laughter kept her up for a good portion of the night as they always did.

* * *

"Look at him!" Pansy Parkinson sneered, "He's so—"

"_She_ is listening." Caeli sneered right back as harshly as she could, finishing her breakfast. "Lord Black is not pleased with your words, heir_ess_ Parkinson."

Caeli's eyes widened in horror as a ministry owl landed in front of her. The Blacks were important to the Ministry of Magic and were important enough to be announced dead to family members by said government body, unlike those like the Malfoy family. As the last Black that wasn't shamed she'd be the first to know.

Kreature was going to get it when she went back this Yule.

Something within her was released as Malfoy snatched the letter from her hands. She hardened the bones in her fist and punched him, knocking him out cold. She took it back and walked out of the great hall.

Professor Snape had long since handed out the schedules, though he gave her a particularly nasty sneer that promised pain when the Slytherin-Gryffindor potions class came up. Was he really so angry that his pet Malfoy wouldn't be the next Lord Black?

There wasn't anyone outside of the arithmency classroom as she knocked on the door. Professor Vector hadn't been at the staff table so maybe—"What are you doing here so early?"

"I am here for third year arithmency with the Gryffindor house." She nodded shortly and motioned Caeli to come in. "Thank you, ma'am."

"You'll find that I don't like suck ups, so don't get too comfortable!" She realized that Vector was a horrid dog, but Caeli didn't say so.

"Thank you for letting me know. Will there be assigned seats?"

"No." Vector's stern face frowned in a deeper manner than before.

"Good." Her frown became less pronounced as she began writing on the board. Caeli took a seat and began reading her textbook, wondering when the rest of her classmates would arrive. Granger was the next to come in.

Caeli knew so since the girl was immature enough to give a huff to see that someone had beaten her to the classroom.

"Good morning, Professor Vector!" Granger bubbled in an obvious attempt to suck up to the severe woman. She didn't get the same warning that Caeli did.

"Just sit down and shut up." The professor sneered right back.

"But—"

"This is _my_ classroom so I'd suggest you sit down and shut up."

"Yes, ma'am…"

"Five points from Gryffindor for ignoring my second order." Caeli looked up with interest, waiting to see if Granger would lose more house points. "Take another five for disobeying my first order! Sit down already!"

She didn't make a noise as she took a seat in the front. Dean Thomas and—_gulp_—Francine Longbottom filed in followed by the Slytherin girls, Zabini, and Malfoy. Caeli had taken a seat in the back, causing Malfoy to glare before sitting next Parkinson.

If she were anything like him Caeli would tell his father that he'd gained an interest in the annoying girl. She knew damn well that Malfoy was simply looking to grow up faster than the other boys. After all he had bragged about how he'd break Parkinson's heart several times last year.

"Alright, sit down and flip to page five of your textbooks!" Everyone rushed to oblige, with Francine sitting next to her. Caeli didn't groan though it became harder as she looked at the star, "I want you to read the first chapter before we get started on the good stuff."

Caeli had long since finished but decided to do a refresher. The text was dry and boring, but very informative. Quite annoyed that Longbottom hadn't even started, she looked anywhere but her.

Granger raised her hand and Vector made the mistake of nodding at her, "I've finished; will we be getting started, ma'am?" Caeli slammed her face on the table for the first time this year, breaking her nose as she had done seventeen times since starting here.

Didn't Granger _learn_?

"You are to remain quiet until I say the discussion is to be held." Vector stated, earning a very tense girl. Caeli fixed her nose with a resounding crunch while edging away from Longbottom.

"This is the greatest, don't you think?" Longbottom whispered as Caeli practically sat off of the edge, "We're in love and—"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for speaking instead of reading." Vector called with a scowl. "Raise your hand if you've finished." Everyone but Longbottom did so. "Alright, we're having a group discussion on what arithmency is. Now then, what is arithmency?"

Granger's arm shot up like a lightning bolt, Caeli flicked her hair over her shoulder and answered: "To me arithmency is figuring out the best course of action by understanding and utilizing the numbers we practice." Granger gasped. "That's my opinion."

"Good, twenty points to Slytherin for an interesting answer. Take another five for answering first, what are some applications that can be used with arithmency in everyday life?"

"It can be used in spell making." Thomas said with a hopeful voice.

"Twenty points to Gryffindor for a decent answer." Caeli was nearly off of her seat as Longbottom puckered her lips, leaning closer.

"May I be moved, Professor?" She called desperately, "Please…"

"Very well." Caeli sighed in relief and walked to sit next to Zabini who shot her a dirty look.

"You can't get in the way of love!" Longbottom screeched, "I'd like to change seats with Zabini."

"Miss Longbottom," Vector started harshly, "I am not here to cater to your large, over-romanticized head. If you wanted to be by Miss Black's side you shouldn't have scared her away. Now sit down and shut up if you want to pass this course!"

Caeli sighed in relief as Longbottom did indeed sit down and shut up.

* * *

She was early again, waiting for Professor Lupin to open the door for the Slytherin only Defense Against the Dark Arts class, reading the first good defense book that a professor here had afforded her. Apparently this professor had a love of creatures.

She didn't understand why Hogwarts never set a standard that the professors had to teach. First year had been _okay_, Professor Quirrel had taught them a few spells, a bit about creatures, and would have been good if he hadn't stuttered so much. She had had a dream about a phoenix setting him to flames the night he had disappeared.

Second year had been awful and she'd leave it at that for anyone to hear. Hopefully this Professor would teach them some spells…

"Hello." She didn't wrinkle her nose at his poor quality robes, "You're early, would you like to come in?"

"Yes, sir." She answered, every bit the lady that was expected of a Black. "You're to be known as Professor Lupin, correct?"

"Er… yes."

"I'll be your favorite." She said with superiority.

"I don't think I'll have a favorite student in any of the houses." He answered.

"Just you wait until you meet my alumni." Caeli answered darkly, taking her seat in the front. "I will _at least_ be your favorite in all of Slytherin."

Caeli quite liked Defense Against the Dark Arts, though she was hoping for a mastery in Creatures after Hogwarts. Walburga Black had had one and had died defending her from Grandmother Druella.

* * *

"Sorry!" The seven-year-old howled amidst the pain, "I—I—!"

"_Druella_!" Walburga was standing as proxy of the Blacks since the men were out of the country settling some less-then-legal business. She didn't know what legal meant but she knew that it was bad. "Stop cutting our heir, or I'll…"

"Fine, my Bellatrix has learned _some_ respect for tonight!" Druella gave a dainty laugh as Caeli forced the wounds to heal. "Don't you see? Bellatrix came back good as new!"

"Her name is Caeli!" Old Cassiopeia said nothing ever watchful and ever neutral as everything panned out. "Caeli Black is not some replacement for that horrid little beast of yours!"

Druella stood and took the first step, "You're _still_ jealous that I had three _daughters_, are you?"

Walburga closed the distance between them, "As jealous as you are of my two _sons_." Druella was slower then Walburga, who managed to disarm her with a firm back hand from the left and a sharp jab to the nose.

"You've knocked her out!" Cassiopeia cried out, looking ecstatic. "Oh… she'll be so angry."

Walburga reared back her booted foot and broke Druella's nose.

* * *

But the body is unkind to the old, in an unfortunate twist of fate her Great-Aunt Walburga Irma Black lost her balance and fell into the end table that held Cassiopeia's tea, "Sir, would you please tell me about thestrals?"

Thank Merlin that she had updated her portrait that day.

"Unfortunately for you they're NEWT level material in Care of Magical Creatures." She nodded. Druella had been absolutely ecstatic when she had found out Caeli had watched Walburga die. She said there was so much more to see when one witnessed wonderful happenings and had forced Caeli to study creatures that could only be seen by those who'd witnessed death.

A few students trickled in, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle not being among them. It was how it had happened the year before and how it had been going on since the curse on the position. Since Caeli was the lowest in the entire house so therefore she wasn't included in their games and jokes, this one was called _Toe-the-Line_.

Last year had been something that even she had joined in on.

"Alright, today there isn't anything to practice with but—"

"So I said—!"

"Alright, you three have lost your house ninety points for being late and disrupting the lesson. Be seated." Malfoy stared open mouthed for a moment. "Be seated or you three will lose an additional forty-five."

Crabbe and Goyle sat down quickly in the two person desks leaving Malfoy to sit with her, "Great, I'm by the queer!" He cried loudly. Caeli just didn't care enough to defend herself.

"Twenty points for being rude to a lady, Mister Malfoy." Malfoy gave a long-suffering sigh. "It seems that Slytherin won't be making it into the top three."

He slouched down next to her as Caeli pulled out some parchment for note taking. She did not smile, though she wanted to.

She paused as something flitted around Professor Lupin's head, she lost focus as the caretaker, Argus Filch ran in—"I've found one!" Professor Lupin gave a broad smile.

"Pack your things, boys and girls. We're tackling our first creature today!" She hoped it was just a boggart… that wouldn't be anything new considering the state that her home was constantly in. Professor Lupin led them through the castle after a few whispered words from the squib. "We were going to speak about how to deal with boggarts but now we have one to work with."

There was no whoop or answer.

"Sir." Caeli called from the back, "Why are we doing this as a group?"

"Have you ever faced a boggart on your own, Miss Black?"

"My family lets me practice when I'm at home." She answered vaguely. Grandfather Cygnus did not tolerate failure and had beaten her with his cane for cowardice after she had run into one before her Hogwarts days had started. He had broken his hip and died.

Everyone watched her as soon as Professor Lupin asked, "What is your fear?"

"It changed," She answered as she stood by him in front of the teachers' lounge. "My old fear seems so insignificant."

"What did it used to be?"

"It's a little personal…" She answered shyly, feeling genuinely bashful.

"It's okay." Professor Lupin answered before he resumed his lecture. The creature she spotted, a Ceann Marfóir[1] according to the creature book, gave Lupin's ear a tickle. He rubbed his ear where it touched him and she saw it nip his fingers sucking more of his potential happiness.

"_Riddikulus_!" The class shouted around her. In her distraction she had missed the whole lecture, with a glare directed at the creature who stuck its tongue out she stepped forward.

"Okay, I'll open it in three-two-one!" She knew what to do… she knew what to do…

What popped out made her recoil in horror.

For a full minute she was entranced by what was indeed her greatest fear and Bulstrode made sick at the sight, "_Riddikulus_!" Gone was the broken, battered, and raped image of her… instead she stood on her feet in a muggle clown suit. The laughter wasn't genuine and even Professor Lupin looked sick. "I'd like to leave now."

"Dismissed." Lupin answered tightly.

She took off running.

* * *

Caeli barely ate anything at lunch and currently stood with the rest of her alumni outside of the forest with the Care of Magical Creatures professor.

He wasn't much of one, but Druella had stated that Walburga had helped write the book for the course but had not taken an open show of credit to not outshine her husband. She recalled that Walburga always said everything needed to be treated with just the right amount of kindness if deserved, so—"Good job, Black!" She had also said that books always needed care…

Her book had been opened as soon as he gave the order.

"It was a good joke, sir." She answered seriously, she wanted to say more. "My Great-Aunt Walburga helped with the research and enchantments."

"Tha's…" He looked oddly disappointed but she didn't let up.

"Her acknowledgements are on page three." Caeli showed it off to the Slytherins who didn't care at all. She turned back to the page on Hippogriffs and began reading.

"Le's get to tha lesson!" She followed behind the group, not stopping her reading. She got to the part beyond the anatomy and warnings, to the proper greeting. "Black, are ye volunteerin'?"

"Yes, sir." She answered though she hadn't heard a thing. She looked back at the book and nodded to herself.

It went swimmingly and she stepped backwards when he offered her his wing.

"'E jus' wants ta fly with ye." Hagrid jovially called. With little hesitation she smiled, but with faltering confidence she mounted the being…

Caeli smiled genuinely, nearly letting her guard down long enough to whoop in joy as soon as they took off; she leaned forward. "Might we go a bit faster?"

With a mighty flap of its wings they sped up to speeds she hadn't even achieved on that Nimbus 2000 her grandparents had bought her two years ago. The creature twirled and she knew that her hair would be a mess when she landed.

He glided them to the ground and she hesitated, "Thank you for the ride, Mister Buckbeak." He crouched to the ground, making her dismount easier. She paused before the class, straitening her hair with a mere thought. Upon taking her spot with the Slytherins Hagrid encouraged the rest to interact with the herd.

She did not, instead choosing to bother Hagrid for information on each individual hippogriff. Malfoy gave a shout less than a minute later. Hagrid pulled the irate hippogriff away and class was dismissed.

She stayed behind, "Hagrid will get in trouble for this, you know." The hippogriff made a sad noise and immediately followed them.

Great-Aunt Walburga had loved all creatures that couldn't speak for themselves… but he was family—she sighed in annoyance, Malfoy deserved no sympathy since this was obviously his fault. The book even said what to do!

She ran her fingers through her hair and noticed that Nott was still there—"Are you actually… plotting?"

"No." Caeli earned a genuine laugh before the tall boy covered his mouth in horror.

"Your father isn't here to correct you." She said simply, "It's okay to joke with others of our status when we're not being watched."

She walked away without a goodbye, making plans as she went.

* * *

For the grand sum of two galleons she bought the hippogriff, wondering if Grandmother Druella would have punished her for going against Narcissa's son. She walked to the hospital wing where the hippogriff waited outside the door, whining.

"Come, he doesn't want to be seen." Buckbeak whined again, oddly horse-like noises coming from his beak. "It's okay, we'll get through this… for now go to Hagrid and we'll handle it all for you."

With one last look at the door Buckbeak shuffled outside, looking genuinely upset.

'_Walburga was right…'_

Grandmother Druella would always say that only those worthy—purebloods—of feelings were allowed to it by magic. Walburga had encouraged Caeli to be nice to the Doxies who had grown to fear the residents.

They made the most annoying yet sweet pets.

She entered the hospital wing and headed to his bed where her aunt and uncle sat next to him.

"Hello." Caeli smiled gently at the boy to give the illusion of kindness to his parents. "I hope you're prepared for the court date."

"Oh, Caeli… do you plan on helping?" Her smile widened.

"Of course."

"You're such a good girl…" Narcissa was a cruel aunt and this was vengeance for the nights she had spent starving in her husband's maternal manor. "I'm truly grateful to have such a kind girl as a niece."

It was a large shame that she wasn't all that forgiving.

* * *

She lay on her belly in her bed with her eyes open as Nott recounted his snogging session with Parkinson.

"… And she wouldn't stop complaining that _Drake_ wasn't _here _for her tonight, that girl is going to be a bigger slag then her sister!" There was a ruckus of laughter.

"D'ya think she'll let ya fuck 'er before he comes out?" Goyle spoke up between sniggers. "That'd be too funny!"

"I wouldn't…" Nott started on another joke, "I'd rather fuck the cross dresser over there!"

"Don't point, its rude." She snarled as she snapped her curtains open. "If you must speak of such things in front of a lady speak of them lowly."

Caeli shot them each a pointed glare.

"Looks like the cross dresser needs a lesson." Zabini purred with a wide smile. She had placed plenty of protections on her bed, as long as they did not think her full name she'd be home free, plus she knew plenty of hard to reverse spells.

She grunted and closed her curtains.

First came Crabbe, then came Goyle and the other two didn't even bother.

She'd undo the curses tomorrow…

* * *

"Black!" Flint shouted angrily from the entrance of the third year boy's dormitory. A quick _tempus_ let her know that she should have been at quidditch practice if she were on the team.

"No girls allowed on the team," She called back, quoting him.

'_So quit acting like one!'_ His voice finished in her mind.

"Get up or I'm bringing the whole team here and we're going to undo each and every single one of your curses." She gave a long suffering sigh.

"So be it." Flint stormed away, muttering something about revenge and liars. She had never wanted to be a member of the team but they hadn't taken no for an answer… it couldn't be her fault in their mind, right?

She dressed herself in baggy robes fully prepared to shower when practice finished, all before undoing the enchantments on the two boys.

With a bright smile at the two frozen, dangling third years she left.

Caeli had a bad feeling suddenly especially since Warrington, the most obvious of the bunch, shot her a _very_ horrible smirk that made her want to leave when she arrived—"Draco Malfoy should be your seeker."

Peregrine Derrick, one of the beaters and all around pretty boy of Slytherin, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and _groped_ her… chest. She shoved him off without hesitation, though her face reddened.

"You're planning on raping me, aren't you?"

"It's not rape if you enjoy it." Flint chortled as she hardened her fist and punch him in his crotch only to have Montague wrap his arms around her from in a painful manner.

"Let me go! I'm Lord Black and I'll be _damned_ if you—" Flint silenced her.

"We'll undo it later, we want to hear your screams…" Bole trailed off as her tears started, grabbing her by the nose and shaking her head roughly, "Don't cry now, one would think you didn't want it."

* * *

Before she knew it they had her tied to a bench with her legs splayed on the bench after beating her and disrobing her, currently they were arguing over who would take her first.

"She has a crush on me!" Peregrine Derrick was shouting, "I should go first since I'm…"

He looked away bashfully.

She forced the calcium from her legs to her vagina, growing teeth there for a nasty surprise.

"_A Black can always surprise the enemy!" _Grandfather Cygnus had shouted over their basic dueling lessons. He hadn't allowed her to use anything beyond the basic spells he had taught her and had been kind enough to duel fairly.

"He's right." Flint said suddenly, "He should lose it to a metamorphmagus. He'll be the luckiest bloke in all of Hogwarts!"

Derrick wasn't a virgin at all, having slept with Diana Greengrass. Marcus Flint hadn't cared when his girlfriend had slept with Warrington and Montague at the same time, would he care if…?

Derrick was a damn good bluffer. He looked at her front scowling suddenly as he saw the teeth there, "Those don't go there, girlie. Get rid of them or I'm going to beat you like you're a bludgeor." He gave a nasty grin, "Maybe she should lose it to a club instead?"

They shared a laugh and Flint pulled out the stick that suddenly seemed all that much bigger.

She screamed and screamed and screamed… pitching her voice to match a banshee.

"Will someone shut her up?!" Warrington cried out over her voice, which she made louder so they'd have trouble plotting. She took a breath upon enlarging her lungs and resumed through closed teeth.

Someone would hear and that someone would save her…

Caeli struggled against the binds when the boys gave a shout as something rammed into one of them. She could hardly see, being tied up on her back.

They ran out, screaming. A black figure walked right up to her and she struggled to move away as she realized what it was. It pulled at her ropes, biting right through the binds she was immediately deeper within the locker room, whimpering as it walked up to her.

It dropped her robes in front of her and took off with a lick to her cheek.

"The Grim saved me…"

With the stirring feelings within her, ones that would _surely_ attract a Ceann Marfóir, she doubted that she would return to the common room anytime soon.

Was she forgetting something?

"The Grim _saved_ me…"

* * *

Kreature had been punishing himself when Caeli had called him, she knew so from the way his ears appeared dead.

"Bring my things here." Caeli stated with a harsh voice, she softened her tone. "Also… stop punishing yourself and make sure you're well healed by Yule. We'll be holding the burial then."

The room she had found was a ritual room and the house elves didn't even clean here from what she saw.

When he returned she ordered him to take care of the mess before he resumed his duties in the house.

* * *

No one noticed that she had left the common room, or they just didn't care. It went quite well, though she flinched every time a boy came near her.

It went quite well until November first.

"Where have you been?" She flinched out of Professor Snape's grasp and couldn't bring herself to make eye contact. Caeli didn't know why she felt like crying and screaming when Professor Snape grabbed her again.

She was shaking now.

"Don't touch me…" She whispered desperately. "Please, I just need some time to get over it."

Professor Snape released her, she let go of the breath she'd been holding.

"I want you to look me in the eye and think about what happened to make you so fearful, Miss Black."

"I give you permission to use legilimency on me." She answered, forcing the fear into her mind, their words, and her pain.

"_You're planning on raping me, aren't you?"_

"_It's not rape if you enjoy it."_

Snape stopped there and looked furious.

"Thank you for the information, Miss Black; it would seem that I'll be forced to disband the quidditch team this year." She gave a shaky nod. They were in the great hall and the whole school had heard Professor Snape's loud proclamation.

The other houses cheered and it was quite fortunate that she had already moved out of Slytherin, since she'd surely be lynched in her sleep.

* * *

Someone had gotten her Nimbus 2000 and the pieces were dumped onto her the next morning as she entered the Great Hall.

Caeli _had_ been forgetting something…

She didn't really care, since her fortune could buy a thousand more and still start a superior racing broom company before there was a dent. Zabini's mother could do better, of course, with all of the fortunes she had killed for.

At least her family was said to be one of the top ten richest in the world.

"Black!" She saw her cousin's sneer, one that would have promised pain if her family hadn't taught her the dueling skills she was working hard to keep. She turned the other way heading to the Defense classroom. She knew that her dementor memories would be worse and she would have to work harder on her occlumency… how would she practice?

She bit her thumbnail with a scowl. Surely Professor Lupin would know something?

It was Professor Snape that waited for them, much to her relief. Professor Dumbledore didn't trust the man and she didn't see why, he was a good professor if one were to behave.

She seated in the front by herself and pulled out her textbook.

"Students, Lupin has you far behind your proper curriculum. Turn to page 394 and we shall begin." Caeli couldn't help but wonder why he had them turn to the chapter the syllabus hadn't mentioned, Professor Snape always had a plan and it was never good for the defense professor. "Who can tell me what we'll be studying?"

Professor Lupin _did_ have an odd surname… she raised her hand and Snape nodded at her.

"Sir, I have a question about the material." Caeli was trembling at the implications.

"I did not ask for that, but do go on." There were snickers and she took a deep breath.

"Is Professor Lupin a werewolf?" There was laughter all around the room.

"Fifty points to Slytherin, I will not tell you the lie as I've been told to do." Everyone quieted at his words. "We will be discussing the best way to kill one such as our _defense_ _professor_."

He spat out the last two words and the lesson went from there.

* * *

Caeli did not skip down the halls, though it would be the best course of action to display her current feelings. She had her wand in her hand and wasn't too pleased that she had decided to go to home though it was her Grandmother Druella's funeral.

"Black!" She looked at Nott and began practicing her legilimency. He had a subject that was genuine. "May I copy your notes from history?"

"They're in my trunk, I'll give them to you tomorrow." He genuinely did want her notes but she didn't doubt he was advanced enough in occlumency to hide his true intentions.

"Can't you get it for me now?"

"You plan on leading the rest to my area!" She snarled, "They'll hurt me like they couldn't before!" She'd keep her word, but she sure as hell wasn't going to leave herself vulnerable like that again. She stepped onto the grounds, deciding to visit the gamekeeper and find out when the trial was.

The hippogriff was there with him, comforting him. His lessons were still somewhat interesting and the hippogriffs had been the coolest by far.

"Black!" He called out in surprise. "What are ye doin' all tha way ou' 'ere?"

"I was actually hoping that you'd have gotten some information on the trial." It wasn't a question and she would be sorely disappointed if the ministry hadn't sent a thing.

"Nah… they're gonna do somethin' bad ta him!" Hagrid cried out. Buckbeak cooed and Caeli smiled as a defense came to her on the spot.

"Sir!" She called over his sobs. He stopped and said nothing as she continued. "If Buckbeak understands English half as well as I think he does… then we've won our case!"

"Buckbeak knows more words 'en me!" Shock filled her.

"How did that happen?"

"Aragog used ta come over an' teach tha little ones I brought in English." She tightened her posture, having wandered into the acumantula king's territory on a potion ingredient expedition on a lost and very stupid bet with Malfoy.

Her mind worked a mile a minute and she grinned for the first time in a long while, "Do you think we can safely introduce him to the Minister of Magic?"

"Aragog'd do anythin' fer me!" There was a "but" in there, "Bu' 'e 'asn't spoken ta me in a long time…"

"Go to him and ask him about life tonight, keep visiting him, _be nice_, and don't bring up the trial until the very day. We mustn't worry him!"

"Ya think 'e'll forgive me?"

"You were friends…" Oddly uncomfortable about the subject she hoped she was giving good advice. Still… it had to work if she wanted a solid win. "Good day, sir. Meet him and see if you two can put the past behind you."

She had no idea what it was but she had always imagined friendship as something beautiful that could never be truly broken.

"Thanks!"

"Remember _do not_ bring up the trial. As long as you two aren't friends he won't help. Write me when you hear about the trial date!"

* * *

She grimaced as the Malfoys showed up to the will reading not looking the least bit sad, she could see the excitement dancing in their eyes. Narcissa was quite frigid, she decided as memories of the starvation Caeli had been through came to mind.

Malfoy made a grand show of sniffling through tearless eyes as he exclaimed, "Oh, mother… why did Lord Black let her die?" She hadn't been there and the healers hadn't arrived in time to treat her suicide attempt.

The only reason why he pretended to mourn her was because he had never met the torture-happy woman.

Caeli kept the purple ribbon in her hair as a topknot with matching purple winter robes. With a smile she greeted each of them, thanking them with a lack of vigor. To the youngest Malfoy she said: "A shame you've never met her."

No one else came since the only other benefactors on the list were in Azkaban.

"We are here for the final will and testament of Druella Black. Everyone who is to legally receive has arrived. We shall begin on the Malfoy family who Madam Black specifically stated would go first." Her voice sounded angry and spiteful.

"_To my weakest daughter, unable to withhold a scream properly and who married that good for nothing Frenchman: I leave your family a howler each! They will be opened one by one if you know what's good for you!"_

Lucius was the first and Caeli did not bother hiding her blush at the foul things the old woman had to say. Narcissa's actually dropped a present with the order that it was to be shown to everyone in the room at the end of the session.

Draco…

"_You foul little halfbreed! If I had my way you'd have been drowned at birth…! Tell that wretched mother of yours she's a useless lump who—"_ Caeli would have surely received a cruciatus for her troubles if she repeated the words that came from the howler. Her voice became doting. _"Do it as soon as this finishes and you'll get one-hundred thousand galleons!"_

It turned to ashes, "Go on, Draco…" His mother whispered, "It's okay…"

"No, mother, you're worth more to me than any knut." Something within her chest swelled and the will reading continued.

"To Bellatrix Lestrange, the strongest and the favorite daughter, she is to receive the lump sum of the galleons that the Malfoy boy was too weak to earn."

Draco lost his composure and stormed out, muttering angrily to himself.

"Bring him back in." The goblin sneered. "If we could continue?"

Malfoy slouched in his seat and Caeli sat up in anticipation.

"_To my dearest Caeli, for making a decent stand in: you get everything that I've earned and owned, to the jewelry to the pet to the galleons. Please put my portrait in the library so that I may pursue my love of reading." _

Pet?

She paled and wondered what the sadistic woman had saddled her with. They brought in a cage from where came the whispers of anger.

"Who's in there?" She asked politely. Had Grandmother Druella kidnapped a muggle again? Cassiopeia had told her the story a million times… Malfoy gasped as she continued, "What's your name?"

The three headed snake, a runespore if she remembered correctly, answered, "Don't ask us silly questions!" The right head snarled, its mouth salivating with venom.

"Be nice!" The left one snipped right back. "I say we use it for food!"

She looked at the middle snake and earned a vacant stare.

"What's the stipulation?" She asked the goblin.

"She has not named one."

"May I leave?"

"It is only the Malfoy's who are required to see the memory, you may go." She immediately picked up the cage and left for home.

* * *

Upon the day of Yule she only received one present, it wasn't that expensive, but she couldn't wait for the chance to try it out.

A firebolt wasn't something anyone else had bought… there would be no quidditch for the remainder of the year—an owl fluttered in. She would have preferred a bill or some paperwork… it was a summons from the board of governors the next day.

"Kreature…" She whispered as she sat down to a resigned dinner. "I'm going to ruin some purebloods sons soon, I hope it doesn't go too badly."

"Lord Black is good." Kreature answered. "Kreature likes Lord Black a lot."

He had never said that before.

"Thank you, Kreature… do you want anything for today?"

"Kreature is thankful for Lord Black's acknowledgement. Kreature is liking little mistress's harp." He took her empty dish and she gave a bitter laugh as she walked to the music room.

"I only have a house elf as a friend…" Caeli muttered as she sat in front clàrsach. It was her chosen instrument.

That day she played a sad tune.

* * *

Her arrival to Hogwarts was met with sneers from the boys she took in stride.

The Board of Governors had expelled the six boys upon the memory she had presented and Flint's shout—_"The little whore was asking for it!"_

Derrick had slapped his forehead. A Slytherin girl walked right up to her and she didn't know what to do.

"You poor dear, if another boy bothers you… you let me know!" Diana Greengrass was a whore that never stopped her advances on the boys, but she was still a girl adverse to rape.

"Thank you, Greengrass…" She answered shyly. Greengrass walked away and she found herself stuck with a Ravenclaw who was watching her with wide eyes.

"You have a wrackspurt."

"No I don't." She had no idea what a wrackspurt even was and she honestly didn't care. She took the book she had bought to supplement her arithmency.

"They're creatures that cause bad thoughts—"

"Describe what you see." Caeli answered.

"It looks like a screaming head with bat wings on the side of its head instead of ears—they make bad thoughts and the only way to get rid of one is to think positive thoughts."

"You're mad…" Caeli interrupted her before she could continue. "You're thinking of Ceann Marfóir and they can only be seen by those who have seen death… who did you watch die?"

"My mother."

"It was my Great-Aunt Walburga. Don't think of them, they'll come to you as well."

"What about the wibbling equine?"

"What do _those_ do?"

"They lead the carriages—"

"The _proper_ name is _thestral_. They are the only good ones of the bunch. Ceann Marfóir don't cause bad thoughts, they twist your emotions in the most awful way they can and eat at their victim's potential happiness. Should you fight off a strong infection all will be given back to you two fold." She returned to her book on arithmency.

"Are you mocking me?" The Ravenclaw asked.

"There once was an Irish wizard with an insane theory: sometimes you can only see and achieve things in magic with a certain prerequisite. His family died two days after his proclamation and he saw his first thestral. No one else saw it but him. But that didn't deter him. He documented many things in his book, from how to get rid of a dullahan to how to summon a phoenix as your partner." She gave a laugh. "I'm jealous, actually. Imagine living such a full life?"

"How do you summon a phoenix to be your friend?"

"He said he had to kill his childhood friend who was dabbling in dark magic. He didn't want to but it wasn't right that innocent squibs who still had enough magic to see creatures that muggles could not and it was a moment of righteousness where he made the hardest choice of his life. A phoenix came to him and he wrote that it was because he helped the world in a way that would hurt him the most that she chose him to be her companion—"

"Can I see the book?"

"That book costs too much to hand out like that. It's also the only copy written in Latin." There was a pause as Zabini cleared his throat at the entrance. "Yes?"

"My mother told me to send you her sympathies."

"House Black acknowledges Madam Zabini's sympathy, may she have a long life as _few_ others do." He didn't miss the barb about his mother's past husbands but walked away without a word. She couldn't even bring herself to care that there would be possible retaliation to the accusation. "Don't say another word to me."

* * *

Malfoy had cornered her now…

"I don't know what to say for once; can you tell how you survived _living_ with _her_?"

"She only struck out if I didn't act in the way she deemed fit that day." It answered all of his questions, but… "You want to know more."

"I don't know how mother stayed as ladylike as she is… I see why your mother is mad and why there's a blood traitor." Malfoy had this haunted look on his face, "She shared all of the curses, did she use the cruciatus on you too?"

"She wouldn't have won a Black if she couldn't do it." Caeli hoped it was enough to make him stop. "Listen—"

"How can a mother do that?" He demanded angrily, "Why'd she do that to _my_ mother?"

"Grandmother Druella was as disappointed in her daughters as our Great-Aunt Walburga was disappointed in her sons. They did not want that gender but weren't willing to try again and get another disappointment." Caeli looked the other way. "Grandmother Druella didn't have as much patience for me, if I didn't pour the tea correctly she'd use the Thousand Bite curse… if I couldn't balance a new book on my head I'd get a bone breaker. Hell, I had to match her whims when I practiced my instrument!"

"But—_how_?"

"Great-Aunt Walburga was the nicest of the bunch, the men looked the other way and Cassiopeia was always neutral. Great-Aunt Walburga always said I was her reason for living and she didn't give up life for me…" She wiped her eyes. "She knocked Druella out in a muggle duel with one hit. Slapped her wand out of her hand and punched her in the nose. She kicked her and fell over, breaking her neck and died instantly."

"I don't know how you did it." He answered.

"I heard Walburga was bad to her boys and that Druella was mild. Be grateful that your mother broke the cycle."

"What would they do if _I_ was in the house?"

"You'd probably get a regular caning like Grandfather Cygnus gave me for having stupid fears and ideas." She laughed, "Sometimes he'd wet me with cold water beforehand to make it hurt more, but it was _all_ worth it to become a good heir."

"What are you two talking about?" Nott demanded as he came up.

"You know what it's like to be an heir to an Ancient and Noble house, correct?" Nott nodded, looking away quite suddenly.

"As you can see, Mal—Draco… there are plenty of cases like me out there. Be glad that your parents love you no matter what you do."

"My mother wasn't an heir!" He called as she walked away. She looked back at him and giggled.

"Think of who will _raise_ the heir when a new one is made for a moment?" She resumed her trek to the groundskeeper's hut.

* * *

She kept the letter and sent him off to speak to the acumantula, not doubting that it was a ploy to get him in trouble. Would they push up the date to put him in a state of panic?

Caeli smiled, it would likely be next month so…

She went to her area that night and spotted nothing new. She set up a perimeter charm that would alert her if any human being came in and prepared for bed.

* * *

"What are _you_ doing here?" Granger demanded, practically in a hiss.

"Now, now, 'Ermione. Little Caeli 'ere 'as been 'elping me with me case! She says we'll bring Aragog!"

"But—but…" Granger trailed off, absolutely speechless. The runespoor on the table continued licking up the tea, absolutely oblivious to her obvious turmoil, "Why?"

"I may be a Slytherin, but I like to see justice prevail. It was Malfoy who picked that fight so I won't let an innocent life die over his tantrum. Don't tell anyone I'm doing this."

"If its justice you want then you should be proud!"

"You have no sense of common sense. Lucius Malfoy is a Slytherin slimier then me so I'd suggest you do as I say." Caeli turned back to Hagrid. "I want Buckbeak to be questioned, we'll have to arrange for transport for him and Aragog, and Headmaster Dumbledore will have to arrive with us."

"Wha' abou'—?"

"Hagrid, I've come to drop off today's notes." Granger interrupted. "Shall we go over them?"

"No, we have to discuss tactics!"

"But if Hagrid has knowledge of the law he can come up with things on his own."

"Really now, Granger! _I_ know the law!"

"But only students that have something to do with the case can go—"

"Don't I?" Caeli asked with a smirk. "Buckbeak is not Hogwarts property."

"You _bought_ him?"

"Yes, actually." She answered as she looked at her nails. They needed to be filed down again… she shortened them. "If you would let us continue?"

"Fine!" Granger snarled, dropping the parchment on the table, "I'll be sure to tell Francine that you're here!"

"Oh please!" Caeli shouted back, though internally she was quaking. "Go ahead and tell that brat!"

Granger smiled viciously at her and walked away.

"Wha's goin' on with ye an' Francine?"

"She's convinced that I'm a boy she's meant to be with." Caeli brought a hand to her forehead; "If I thought Dumbledore would do something about it—" She poured out more tea for the runespoor. "—I'd ask him to make her leave me alone."

"Francine _mus'_ be jokin', she says she wan's lotsa kids!"

"She thinks they're meant to be with me, now onto more important matters. How will we introduce Aragog to them?"

"Aragog hasn't promised a thing…"

"He'll go as long as you don't tell him anything just yet."

* * *

Her first private lesson with Professor Snape was oddly boring, they chatted about what made a happy memory a happy memory and she couldn't help but ask, "Sir, why are we doing this?"

"The key to the Patronus Charm is to feel true happiness despite the dementors around you. What is a moment that you were _truly_ happy?"

"Whenever I was with Great-Aunt Walburga…" She trailed off at his look.

"You'll need an exact memory." He deadpanned.

"May I take a moment to meditate?"

"You may." She closed her eyes… _'think happy…'_

The memory came in an instant, the happiest she had been was when…

* * *

With a bright smile she had handed her the rose wreath that she had made for her, but it had been a week since Auntie Walburga had promised to wear it. She frowned into her plate for a moment when Druella burst into laughter.

"Our first family meal in _weeks_ and you choose that atrocious thing for a tiara!"

"A Black always keeps their promises." Auntie Walburga sat next to her with a warm grace despite the dead flowers on her head. "Isn't that right, Caeli?"

"Yes, Auntie!" She answered with a bright smile. "I love you."

Walburga gave a gentle smile, "You truly are a treasure."

Polux quirked a brow at Walburga's choice of headdress but did not acknowledge it, "Let our family meal commence." Walburga patted her hand as a warning when she went for the wrong spoon.

* * *

"Alright, I have it!" She said with certainty.

"The wand movements are simple," He demonstrated it, "The incantation is _Expecto Patronum_, if you would?"

She focused on the warmth that the woman had made her feel and cast, "_Expecto Patronum_!" What Snape saw made him angry and made her feel _quite_ sick at the sight. "The Grim?"

"Could it be possible that you no longer need my help?" He sneered, "Get out."

"Yes, sir." She whispered, still numb.

It _had_ saved her… so maybe it was _that_ which made this _situation_ okay?

* * *

Professor Snape hadn't let her back in… so she was sat at the entrance of the Ministry of Magic with an irate acumantula princess and a nervous hippogriff.

"I am a princess, foul human!" She shouted at the guard behind the counter, "When my daddy hears about this he'll storm this putrid place with all of our warriors!"

"Calm down, you're making a scene." Caeli tried to pacify as the princess rounded on her from atop the counter. "Listen to me, your daddy can't make the journey and the human behind the counter cannot give you his meal."

"But it smells _good_!"

"I think you're smelling his sweat." Caeli deadpanned, "Now come on, we've got to go before we're late."

"Fine…" The princess, the size of a small, large eyed dog that she had seen once while in the muggle world, glared at a passing toad of a woman, "What'choo lookin' at?"

"What is that _thing_ doing here?" Princess Henken jumped on top of Buckbeak.

"Buckbeak is not a thing! He's an intelligent creature that is here for a stupid trial of your stupid race!"

"Let's just go…" Caeli muttered in an attempt to keep the peace.

"No! Let's hear what this _moon calf_ has to say!"

"Shut up!" Caeli shouted, losing patience, "We have better things to do then worry about _her_!"

"You're right, that mealtime is absolutely irrelevant until I'm hungry later." She led Buckbeak, with Princess Henken on top, down the halls to the elevator which would take them to the Department of Creature Control.

"Minister." She greeted, "Princess Henken, this is Minister Fudge, he's the most absolute leader we have."

"He doesn't smell very much like one."

"He won the fight to be a leader, now remember we're not here to insult my kind. We're here to _assist_ Buckbeak." Princess Henken grunted in annoyance.

"I'm not _stupid_!" She shouted right back, "Your kind is probably too stupid to get _my_ invectives!"

Caeli filed the last word as something she would learn later.

"Miss Black, these beasts have no place here—"

"Henken!" She shouted desperately as the acumantula princess lifted herself in a tarantula war pose, "We are not here to murder national leaders!"

"But… fine, but only because daddy asked me to listen to you." Caeli sighed in relief. "But if he calls me a beast again, I'm eating his mate and eggs just to leave him alive to realize his stupidity!"

"Please stop threatening people."

"I won't have anything to say to your idiotic beast-kin then!" She whined right back, "Okay, okay…"

The odd lids above her eyes were narrowed as the doors opened.

"Alright, we're here for the trial. Buckbeak is my property." The Malfoy's all shared a simultaneous choke and cock of the head.

"Is that a proclamation of war?" Henken bellowed at them, "My daddy will—"

"Shut up until it's your turn to speak." Caeli snarled harshly.

* * *

Hagrid showed up an hour later, having made the mistake of coming thirty minutes before the trial was announced to be held.

"As we were." Caeli called to the judges. Hagrid held Granger's notes in his beefy hands. She took them as she called, "I call Buckbeak the hippogriff to the witness stand."

She organized them for him in the process of the judges arguing over his right to represent himself. Buckbeak sat in the stand by the time they finished agreeing on the fact that_ no_, he did not deserve it.

"Now then, we shall decide on cues for him to follow and we will ask him strictly yes or no questions." She had brought the textbook for the event that they actually decided to call Malfoy up to the stand. "If our judges would choose?"

"Right for yes and left for no." Minister Fudge stated dismissively. "If we could get this farce over with?"

"We shall test this method out first!" She snipped, "Is your name Buckbeak?"

Buckbeak lifted his right foreleg.

"Are you a female?"

Buckbeak lifted his left foreleg.

"Now then, we know that Buckbeak knows these cues we shall begin." She shot him a stern stare. Henken moved to sit on top of his head, "Are you aware of what you did to be here?"

He lifted his right foreleg.

"Can you do math?"

He lifted his right foreleg again.

"How old are you?" He tapped the stand seven times. "Seven years?"

He lifted the proper appendage.

"Would you please tap for Mister Malfoy's age?" Thirteen. "How long does your kind typically live?"

He made twenty taps.

"This is a farce!" Minister Fudge shouted angrily.

"Minister, please!" She snapped, "This is a valid witness as he is the one on trial… don't you think we should give him the chance to defend himself?"

Buckbeak made a noise of forlornness, "I agree! This political system _is_ shit if the judges can't even hear out their witnesses." Henken continued, "What did the little beast call you anyway?"

Buckbeak gave Draco a glare that promised death and answered, "Calm down, Princess Henken!" Caeli cried out as she used her seeker reflexes to catch the angry princess.

"CALL MY DADDY'S FRIEND A BIG UGLY BRUTE, WILL YA?!" She started her tirade, "I'll tell daddy and he'll send one of our assassins after you! Buckbeak is the first hippogriff that daddy taught to understand your stupid language and—and basic math! I'll be _damned_ if you ruin his most successful story yet!"

"Princess, if you don't calm yourself I will _not_ keep up my end of the bargain!" The acumantula gave a noticeable quake and made a hissing noise that must have been a calming breath. "Thank you… Buckbeak, please tap out how long you believe humans grow to be?"

He tapped out twenty.

"That, dear friend, is wrong—there is a human alive over 150-years-old. He is particularly old but you can guess that we can live for a long time from that, correct?" He raised his right arm, seeming uncomfortable where this was going. "Humans aren't mature physically until they are seventeen-years-old and are rarely mentally mature by then."

He cawed, "You shouldn't feel bad!" Princess Henken bellowed, "I would have scratched his eyes out! I don't even _have_ claws!" Buckbeak shrieked like a sad eagle and Princess Henken blanched, "Yeah, attacking a hatchling is kinda dickish."

Caeli cleared her throat, but the conversation continued.

"I won't say it!" Henken sneered at his pleading, "Fine, but only because they're too stupid to understand Forest-Tongue."

Before even Caeli could react the acumantula princess had leapt to sit in front of the youngest Malfoy.

"Hen—"

"I, Princess Henken, daughter of Aragog the Teacher and Mosag the Fierce do hereby offer myself to Buckbeak as a proxy for his apology. Buckbeak has pleaded to me and I have heard his words. I shall say his stipulation should you not accept: Buckbeak willingly offers his life at your hands if you do not accept. Buckbeak will willingly give you one of his wing feathers if you do accept; Buckbeak asks that you accept a formal apology as a parent and as a son of an abusive herd-father."

"He accepts," Narcissa said quickly, "We'd like six wing feathers."

"Mother—"

"Draco, I do this for your own good…" Narcissa said softly, "Hippogriff wing feathers, willingly given, can see through most illusions and make sound disruption spells useless."

After a few horse-like grunts Buckbeak handed them each two feathers seeming to know her true intentions.

"Due to the fact that Draco Malfoy holds no ill will to Buckbeak the hippogriff, the case is dismissed." A judge stated, smashing the gavel.

"Alright, Professor Hagrid." Caeli started, "Please explain your students to the next creature you show, okay?"

He nodded, looking quite sheepish; "I 'adn't though' of tha'…"

* * *

[1]Ceann Marfóir—_head killer_ in Irish according to Google translate. One of my interpretations Luna's creatures, this one being a Wrackspurt… in my mind they are the disembodied heads of a dullahan (a real Irish legend that the headless horseman is based off of.) the dullahans will be known as heliopaths to Luna.

**This is the third version of this particular story... there are _so many_ stories where Harry isn't James's son but none where Lily accepts a child by James from someone else. This got me going and I came up with this. I have a little opening in the first version where everything is explained. Again, let me know if you're interested in continuing it so that I may send you EVERYTHING that I can.**

**The name I had in mind for this story was _Marchen Life_.**

**Marchen is the German word for fairy tale. I don't recall where this was going so I abandoned it.**


	3. Chapter 3

In the sixties the unspeakables sought to start a new program for their agents. The purpose of the program was to raise a new generation of unspeakables. Most partook of it and all of the subjects of the program moved on to be the next generation. It is called: Project Daycare/BAMF!Dorea Arrogant!BAMF!Harry—DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

_In the sixties, the unspeakables sought to start a new program for their agents._

"Grandmother—" Harry was rudely interrupted.

"Don't call me that!" Dorea Black would say that the years had been very kind to her. "I told you to be silent unless—oh..."

"_Yeah_." Harry grumbled sarcastically as he reached into the potion's belt, "Another dose of your _instant god-bod_, Grandmother Dorea?"

_The purpose of this program was to raise a new generation of unspeakables._

"Of course, you dunce!" Harry handed off the potion, very tempted to smash the rest at her next words. "One would think that my grandson could make better potions..."

"I'm sure the effects would last longer if you didn't add it to your whiskey-flask." He grumbled right back, "With your whiskey."

She giggled, "Come, my mission is almost complete... tomorrow night we'll have rent money."

_Most partook of it and all of the subjects of the program moved on to be the next generation._

"Or a means of feeding your alcoholism." Grandmother Dorea shot him a piercing glare and Harry smiled back, knowing damn well that he had free passes when they were out.

"Get your end done." She stated, instead of whipping out her wand. She smiled, suddenly quite smug. Harry knew that vengeance was at hand. "Tonight I will enjoy my god-bod to the fullest, with that mental image in your mind enjoy stealing the paperwork."

Harry could only give a shaky nod.

_With the program a success it was dubbed... Operation Daycare._

"Hopefully I won't fail thanks to your sabotage, Grandmother." She giggled and flounced off as Harry got to work.

* * *

He hated that she had to be trained to do things like a dog to make things easier.

"Good morning, mother!" Harry cheerfully exclaimed the next morning, "Grandmother Dorea actually shared some of our profits with me so I bought the ingredients for your potion."

The redhead shook her head desperately.

"Now I know you don't like it but I want you around longer, so...!" Her eyes lit up, seemingly happy.

Harry knew better even as he approached her bed. She tensed and Harry snatched her fist, "One would think you didn't love me." Her expression softened as she relaxed, "Thank you; smile!"

Her smile was wide as he took the potion and jammed it between her lips, "Drink up." He stated in a somewhat threatening voice, not surprised when she took it seriously. "Want a snack?"

Her eyes lit up as he held out the sweet, wishing for just a moment... he shook his head, pushing the thoughts of another life from his mind.

"You're a fool, young man."

"Na, na, na!" Lily whimpered as Harry patted her head.

"Grandmother, we agreed that you aren't allowed in here." Dorea smirked.

"I'm not in the room." She answered, clearly unconcerned at his mother's desperate attempts to disappear underneath her pillow, "Come, Dumbledore is here." Harry looked at his mother, cowering underneath her bedsheets.

"I'll be back later, okay?" She continued whimpering in answer. He stood up and exited, "I don't want her hurt."

"_Only _the only thing you've ever asked for." She growled right back as she followed him to the floo room. "I wish you'd do more of that."

"I don't ask, I demand." He responded with a smirk.

_SLAP_

"Don't you look like that spoiled nephew of mine!" She all but hissed as Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"I see that you haven't changed, Milady." Dorea smiled holding out the hand which was always kissed when old men came over. "I have an important matter that I'd like an answer to."

"Grandmother, you didn't..." Harry exclaimed, "You told me you'd handle it!"

"And I did!" She responded easily, "You're going to Beauxbatons Academy of Magic!" Harry gasped.

"Please, grandmother, you've always told me that Hogwarts is—"

"Do you know what happened to your father did when he got to Hogwarts?"

"He married a muggleborn."

"Correct! But he also bloody pined for said muggleborn for years before she looked his way! Like a pathetic puppy!" She snarled, "Now where is that muggleborn?"

"She... is as good as a squib with the mindset of a two-year-old."

"Do you understand? Bad things happen to people who go to Hogwarts. _I_ married your wife beater grandfather." She said soothingly, "If bad things happen to people who go to Hogwarts, what will happen to you?"

"I'll get a French schoolgirl pregnant if you—"

"Boy, don't embarrass me in front of Albus Dumbledore!"

"Cougar instincts kicking in already?" Grandmother raised her hand but took a soothing breath as Dumbledore cleared his throat again.

"As I told you in my letter, headmaster... Harry will not be going." Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"Alas, there is little I can do to convince you both—"

"I want to go." Harry said, "You just have to convince my grandmother."

"No!" Dumbledore sighed in obvious annoyance.

"Dorea, must you deny this boy his birthright?"

"Sorry? Who told the entirety of the British community that my boy ended the greatest dark wizard _since Salazar Slytherin himself_? Who made _my poor, delicate grandson_ a target of dark wizards all throughout his very own homeland?"

"I..." Dumbledore actually looked speechless.

"But I believe being hunted is the best way to teach him gratitude for all I do for him, I change my mind. Harry, you're going to Hogwarts! I want you to be the mediocrity you are and will always be. Come, we're going to Diagon Alley to—"

"Dorea, where have you been?" Dumbledore asked quietly, "I've since made Neville Longbottom the Boy-Who-Lived. We all thought that Harry Potter was dead."

"Hmm... that's actually quite good. Harry!" Harry stood at attention. "We are going to Diagon Alley as your average civilians, rather than superstars." Dorea gave him a pointed look.

"Yes, Grandmother Dorea." He didn't sigh no matter how much he wanted to, "Shall I prepare your potions?"

"Hush, child." She hissed, "Please excuse him, he's an idiot... aha! Another reason for you to go... you're too stupid to be allowed to be left to your own devices off of British soil." Harry gave a sigh of frustration.

"Actually, Dorea." Dumbledore started, "I've come due to an issue that aren't for the ears of one so young as Mister Potter—"

"Ugh, gross! I'm going back to my mum!" Grandmother promptly used that stupid handbag—he could swear it was filled with bricks—to slapped him upside his head.

"You see what I mean? An absolute idiot!" He ran off to a world of safety where adults didn't even imply dirty things.

* * *

_His first trip to Diagon Alley during the day had proven to be..._

"Boring..." He groaned as Dorea sat to the side; the bloody woman kept pricking him again and again.

"It would be easier if you'd give me your potion's belt."

"Grandmother, they have to consider the fact that I _always_ have my potion's belt on my person." He scolded.

"I don't know how you stripped without unbuckling the damn thing." She grumbled. Harry wasn't that bothered at her ire; in fact... he reveled in it. "Why did you take off your under robes?"

"A full wardrobe is necessary for this occasion."

"You're paying for it." She responded, wincing as she realized that her bosom was suddenly sagging.

"With your galleons if you want _this_." Harry responded, his god-bod potion in between his thumb and forefinger.

"Stop moving..." The head armorer of The Department of Mysteries scolded, "Really, Stag, you're my worst customer."

"I thought it was—"

"Otter is not with us anymore." Grandmother sighed.

"Another round of paperwork and looking through a _bunch_ of mud—muggleborns."

"Wow, real progressive, Grandmother." Harry sighed. "Spider, how long till my order's ready?"

"About... two days. I don't know why you want a new set of underwear... but whatever, as long as you pay." Spider looked nervously at Dorea whose face had turned red.

"Its slipping!" Harry squeaked purposely dropping the potion.

"Don't you dare!" Dorea shrieked.

"Caught it!" Harry smirked at her as Spider finished up.

"Alrighty, I'll have the armor ready by Christmas. The robes, as I said, will be ready in two days. Be back by then." There was a giggle and he knew exactly whose groan inducing giggle it was.

"Hello... Turtle." He growled, wisely avoiding eye contact.

"Lookit, Stag, the love of your life!" He glowered at his grandmother, "How are you, Turtle?"

"Let's leave these to lovebirds alone, eh?" Turtle began choking in horror.

"Father!"

"Don't fight it." Harry grumbled, "If you stay quiet maybe I'll kill you quickly." He finished dressing.

"Are you going to _Hogwarts_?" She asked.

"I am a British citizen." He said with forced indignation. "I was visited by Albus Dumbledore himself in not a vision, but my house and—"

"You could just say yes." Harry longed to punch her in that moment.

"If you'd please remember correctly I have a flair for dramatics."

"Which is exactly why you'll never be loved." Turtle responded; he glared at her lips, wishing that he could make eye contact.

"I doubt anyone can be loved by you with that dead thing you call a heart." He answered, wishing that... "I wish—" He realized what he'd been about to say.

"Oh my! You still care!"

"Stop raping me with your mind!" He shouted, "Stranger danger!"

"Turtle, I'm ready!" Spider called, "And, Stag, if you want to look good for Hogwarts you _will_ _not_ sabotage little Turtle's clothing."

"Yes, Spider." He responded sullenly as he looked down at his shoes.

"Since I don't trust you I'm ordering you to go to the laboratory to renew the enchantments on your equipment and to get your wand checked." Harry's face lit up at those words. Grandmother _never_ let him go to the laboratory alone.

Not after...

He shook his head and ran towards the laboratory with no hesitation.

* * *

"No." Owl snipped, "We don't need your ideas."

"Oh come on—"

"We don't need your help, child." Fox, who was new, cooed.

"We haven't updated our protocols since the eighteen hundreds!" Harry gasped the fact in false horror. He grew serious, "If a spy gets into the department and shares our secrets what will be our defenses then?"

"No one has been able to find a way without... I don't know, dying?" Owl stated as he checked Harry's wand with another spell.

"But the contract only involves _speaking_ our secrets. What if the traitor does... I don't know... interpretive dance?" Fox all out laughed.

"This is the thirty-sixth time you brought up that very same point, Stag. It stopped being funny after the thirteenth."

"In—interpretive dance!" Fox cackled.

"Come on, I've found a way to combat our combat stances—"

"Impossible." Owl stated.

"I know how to undo the locking charms on everyone's office."

"Liar." Fox started laughing again.

"Its the same spell for everyone—also, your porn collection is _sick_, Dolphin!"

"Thank you, I draw them and sell them myself." Harry gasped.

"You people are idiots!" He cried.

"Says the kid whose wand is in the hands of an idiot." Owl deadpanned. "Take your ideas and shove them up your—Madam Moth!" He squeaked.

"Grandmother, when do I get my wand back?"

"Give it back right now, the check shouldn't take more than five minutes!"

"I'm sorry, Madam Moth, but there are so many tracking charms on it!"

"Why don't you remove them?"

"I was actually thinking that we should transfer their allegiance just in case he decides to defect by means of interpretive dance." Everyone shared a laugh at his expense.

His face reddened, "Stop making an arse of yourself, Stag; they're not _really_ going to transfer the tracking charms here. They are to remove every last one of them."

"Yes, Madam Moth."

Her sharp eyes turned to Harry, "My potion?" Harry didn't hesitate to answer her properly.

"What potion?"

* * *

He had never seen her enthusiastic in his life! He didn't doubt it was because he was leaving.

"You will be below average, Turtle is under the same orders. The _last_ thing we need is for you two to be swept up into _official_ ministry business." Harry nodded his head. "Remember, no proper pureblood gives their surname out before they are sorted. Remember your manners and—look, the Boy-Who-Lived." Her enthusiasm disappeared.

"Of course he's a primping peacock..." Harry grumbled as the aurors guided him through the platform.

"Board the train, I've sent an owl to Hogwarts for you."

"Why didn't you give it to me?"

"And risk you killing it?" She demanded quietly, "You barely tend to the greenhouses that have your ingredients—"

"If you did your part—"

"Hush, boy! Let me get back to the swingers life!"

"Said a little too loudly!" Harry laughed as he ran onto the train.

He found a compartment, placed his trunk into the luggage rack and adjusted his potion's belt.

Now to wait for something interesting to happen.

* * *

"Hello, my name is Harry. What's yours?" Turtle gave him a glare and a rune on her forehead glowed as she tried to abuse her specialty in mind magic.

"Tracey." She answered after a full five minutes of trying. Harry blanked his face and resumed looking out of the window. "Well?"

"Hmm?" Harry jerked his head back to her.

"Aren't you going to be cheeky?"

"Listen, Tracey, I don't even know you and cheekiness is reserved for those who are more than acquaintances... I've never met you before in my life." Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Never suspected you for the professional type." Harry shot her a blank look. With a flick of her wand the door closed and locked itself. A flick of his the window to peer into the compartment shut, "What're your orders?"

"Gryffindor."

"Slytherin."

"Mediocre student."

"Shallow ditz." They stared at one another for a moment, saying the exact same thing at the same time.

"Expected." Tracey took offense immediately, as he expected she would.

"What do you mean _expected_?"

"Well..." Harry made a point to hesitate.

"Well?"

"You _are_ a colossal bitch, for one." She lunged in an instant. He laughed and pinned her beneath him on the floor.

"They didn't just name me Stag for my grace and elegance." He purred, "Its been a while since I practiced my bumblebee exercises."

"Hardy-har, for your honeypot missions? As if your ugly face could get any!"

"If you stopped talking you could actually pass for decent." He responded as she began struggling. He chuckled as he heard the noises coming from outside of the door. "You could pass for a troll queen!"

"You'd kiss a troll queen!" She screeched.

"It'll still be better looking than you." He'd keep her talking until...

_Click!_

He flipped them over and slid her hands onto his wrists, "S—" Harry interrupted as the compartment door slid open, bringing a finger to her lips.

"Hush, my love... no names."

"I've officially seen everything that is to gross..." A Ravenclaw prefect groaned, "Seriously? First years?"

"This isn't what it looks like!"

"Yeah." Harry agreed, "This isn't a fight at all."

"It'll be one if you don't shut your mouth, H—"

"My love! No names!" Tracey reached back and he grabbed her, yanking her forward to steal a kiss. "See, it isn't a fight at all!"

Tracey took a calming breath, stood, and stated with deathly calm:

"I hope one day you are sodomized by a troll and that on that day I may watch." She took another deep breath and sat down.

"This is a girl worth keeping, Mister Prefect, just because—OUCH!" She gave his head a firm kick. "How am I supposed to make you c—"

"SHUT UP!" She cried out as Harry sat up, stood ,and sat across from her. "We are not in any way together, Miss Prefect. I was _assaulting _him."

"Sexually and sexily." Harry added with a wide smile.

"I will buy a troll if you don't stop now." She hissed angrily. He zipped his lips, smile still in play. "Please give me the proper punishment."

"Words have no definition of my trauma right now. You two will go free."

"Penelope!"

"Shut the door on your way out!" Tracey cooed, as soon as the door shut Harry began his never ending mission to make her angry.

"I thought you couldn't use your powers?"

"Only for evil."

"Ah... so making my brain explode is evil?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Shut up!" She hissed. He grinned brightly.

"Oh my! You still care!" Harry mocked.

"I can't _wait _to one day kill you!"

"_So this is love..._?" Harry sing songed gleefully. He didn't much care for her, really. But Turtle was too much fun to rile up.

Oh, right... she was Tracey, so therefore...

"Shut up!"

"Hold on, I'm trying to think up an annoying nickname." He grumbled, rubbing the lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

"Arse."

"A very nice one." Harry stated quietly., still struggling to think. "Aha! Racey-Tracey!" Her eyes went wide and he smiled smugly.

"I have no words for how stupid you are..." Harry laughed loudly at that.

* * *

"Longbottom, Neville!" Harry had had to tap Tracey out of her _beat-him-up_ trance and Harry already hoped that he fell off of the astronomy while being struck by lightning while being eaten alive by some doxies.

Just so he wouldn't survive.

He genuinely hoped that whatever house he ended up in wasn't the one that this arrogant twat was in. Harry hadn't been able to resist the wise-crack of—_"Is your arse jealous of the shit that came out your mouth?"_

Longbottom gaped before cussing him out for his grandmother being a Black.

It was then that Professor McGonagall had walked in, emasculating Neville in front of all in the Great Hall—"Gryffindor!" The sorting hat shouted for all to hear.

He smiled brightly for the next few sortings, stepping up when McGonagall hesitated at his name—"Potter, Harry." Gasps sounded through the hall and Longbottom—well, the lump began choking on his air.

With a bright grin, though he was inwardly quaking at the thought of being a Gryffindor, he walked up to the hat. It covered his eyes and he could swear he heard a voice...

"_Not very bright, are you?"_

_'Hey!"_

"_Hmm, Ravenclaw won't do at all..."_

_'Who the ruddy hell are you to tell me—'_

"Gryffindor!" Harry personally couldn't believe that he had been so stupid. With a faltering smile he took the seat opposite of Longbottom, one of the few that weren't filled.

He stared at his empty plate as the sorting ended with another unspeakable, Goat. Harry felt a shiver go through him as he realized that Goat, a boy he had bullied _so much_, was the heir to the biggest fortune in the world.

He was shocked to figure out that he didn't really care.

Harry quickly found that the treacle tart was laced with something. Something that tasted like—he spat it out.

"A sexual inhibitor!" He cried, scraping his tongue with his spoon, "The treacle tart has a sexual inhibitor!"

_GASP_

Harry sniffed it, "Yes, yes... aconite is an important ingredient in it..." Longbottom fared no better, being the unfortunate one to be in front of Harry when he had spat it up.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Weasely cried, aghast, "They wouldn't poison us—"

"Exactly, they'd just _poison _our _penises_."

"Mister Potter..." A silky voice said from behind him. "Why, pray tell, are you capable enough to taste it?"

"Ugh, Grandmother Dorea didn't want me getting poisoned." He looked back at him and spoke the first thing that came to mind, "My word, you're an unusually ugly man." The entire hall went silent at his words.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor." He stated coldly, taking away all of the beginner points that Gryffindor had in the first place. Harry didn't really care.

"Wow, turkey!"

* * *

"I can't believe you..." Longbottom hissed.

"I know; I can't believe I ate that whole turkey, either."

"Wait, what?" Everyone in the dorm room stared in shock as Harry cast a quick (and hopefully subtle) perimeter charm.

"Yeah, down to the marrow..." Harry looked off into the distance, licking his lips. "Sucks that we lost all those points though."

"Exactly!" Weasely shouted.

"Well, I'm going to bed!" He stripped and put his robes away for later, getting into bed.

Sleep came quickly.

* * *

Harry awoke first, doing his basic exercises, most of them involving himself dangling himself from the window with the pullups being the scariest.

It didn't have anything on Grandmother Dorea if he got out of shape, however.

"Whozzat!" Weasely groaned tiredly as he slammed the window shut. Harry didn't dignify that with an answer, having left the window open for his shower. "Ugh..." Harry resisted the urge to sing as he made his way to the Great Hall, spotting only two other students there.

"Dumbledore knows..." Turtle hissed. "I got a letter—"

Harry spotted the problem immediately.

"Why the hell are you two holding hands?" Goat smiled brightly.

"We're together now." Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No, seriously."

"We're really together." Turtle snapped, "Get over it—" Harry interrupted again.

"This is to get back at me."

"Of course!"

"No!" Goat stared at Turtle with a look of utmost betrayal. She shot him a pointed glare, "Okay, maybe a little."

"Good luck with that prude, barely let me stick the tip in." Goat grinned back, "Oh no... ew, ew; Goat getting any tail is too gross so spare me the details."

"I let him feel my boobies!" Turtle chirped.

"Good, because you didn't have any when _we _were together." She tried to punch him, but he grabbed her and twisted her up so that her back was to him. His hands moved quickly before he pushed her off. "They're not as soft as I imagined they could be."

"They're still sprouting!" She snapped angrily. She took a deep breath, "As I was saying, my father sent me a note saying that we're going to be exposed to Dumbledore for some easy missions around Hogwarts."

"What's there to do around here?" Harry asked dryly, "Are we going to assassinate all of the house elves for poisoning our loins, because I'd really like that."

"Well... he said to meet him early." Goat answered, "His letter didn't say anything about the specifics."

"As long as it's not—oh, Merlin... its _that_."

"What?" Turtle demanded.

"We have to guard Longbottom... don't we, sir?" Dumbledore chuckled from his spot behind Harry.

* * *

"Grandmother, you're a whore." Harry responded quietly as she took her potion on the spot before loosening up her too big coat, "And stop drinking it with whiskey!"

"Hush, boy." She responded, "The others should be here soon."

"Hello, Madam Moth!"

"Suck up." His grandmother responded in an absent manner, "Don't go fangirl on me, okay?"

"Oh... of course, Madam Moth..."

"Stag!" Dorea snapped. Harry stood at attention, "I want you to break into that cabinet and bring me some whiskey!"

"Grandmother..."

"You will abuse your skills and you will like it!"

"Grandmother—"

"Stag..."

"Mrs. Potter, I am sitting right here." Dumbledore stated calmly as she slapped Harry on the upside of his head.

"Stag, my whiskey flask is empty."

"Please excuse me, headmaster. I mean it." The last member of their meeting arrived, Turtle's father, Dragonfly. "Feel free to get started, I'm listening." Harry began by casting his main, go-to detection spell which picked up three.

"I'm afraid that your agents have refused my mission."

"Good!" Dorea snapped, "That should teach old Augusta to—"

"Mrs. Potter." Dorea sighed.

"I'm sorry, its the lack of whiskey... where are we on that?"

"He has an elaborate spell structure, grandmother." Harry answered, desperately trying to find the first one to get rid of.

"Get to it!"

"Turtle!" Dragonfly hissed, "Why would you say no? It's so simple!"

"Well, he did say all Slytherin girls are whores."

"And—and!" Goat added, "He called me a mamma's boy."

"He's just a prick." Harry added. "He got mad at me last night for _no_ reason." Turtle laughed.

"Classic Stag... didn't you lose Gryffindor fifty points?" Turtle stated sweetly.

"I have a right to speak out!" Harry snapped. "Didn't even congratulate me for eating a whole turkey!"

"That _was_ really cool."

"Shut up, Goat." Harry snarled as he grew impatient, punching through the glass cabinet and pulling out a bottle. "Here, Madam Moth." Dorea rolled her eyes and slapped him with it.

"I don't drink _brandy_!" Harry examined the cabinet, not the least bit bothered by the headmaster's discomfort.

"Here." Harry said with forced calm, "Please enjoy _this_ bottle whiskey."

Dorea sighed sadly, "Its just plain old Ogden Fire Whiskey... it'll have to do."

"Mister Potter, that is the last of my whiskey... please do not punch any more holes in my mother's liquor cabinet."

"Sure thing." Harry responded, moving to stand behind his grandmother.

"Why won't you do it?" Dorea demanded, "You once guarded that one nanny who—"

"Don't bring her up!" Harry hissed, "Longbottom is the most..." Words escaped him.

"Vile." Turtle helped him out.

"Disgusting." Goat added.

"Excuse for a human being!" They exclaimed as a threesome, Goat added, "He's just unlikeable."

"Thank you, Goat." Harry sighed.

"I hope he gets set on fire."

"Why don't we just kidnap him and bring him to the forbidden forest?" Harry demanded.

"Oh! _Hogwarts A'History_ says that there's acumantula in there!"

"I know, right?" Turtle stated excitedly.

"I don't read crap." Harry added. Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Sorry, I'm sure that that crappy book has nothing to do with Hogwarts as an institution."

"Surely Mister Longbottom is not that bad."

"He cussed me out." Harry stated flatly, "If we were in a civilian situation I would have—pardon my French—fucked his shit up after the first _fuck you_."

"That's my boy!" Dorea cackled.

"Turtle, name another reason why you won't do it?"

"Stag _has_ to be on the team." Goat interrupted. "In all potential combat situations on the field a team of unspeakables is to bring a tank—in this case Stag—to each occasion of the mission."

"Well, I'm a future interrogator." Turtle stated, "I'm not capable enough in hand to hand combat, _or_ magical combat, to even defeat a mountain troll... _especially not with my proper powers sealed up, daddy_!"

"Oh, darling... the higher ups ordered—"

"I'm the higher up who ordered it." Dorea snapped, "I say take it off, maybe she'll make my idiot grandson's brain explode. Wait a moment... we'll take off some of it. Stag is needed for the mission."

"Which I refuse to do." Harry added. "Mind rape me and make sure I don't live to tell the tale, because I'm not doing it." Harry paused in thought.

"I'm actually assigned in the non-tactical section of the department..." Goat added.

"What does that mean, Mister Zabini?"

"I—" Harry interrupted.

"Don't give him that crap about _I make sure everything goes well_! He's going to be an accountant." Dumbledore actually glared at Harry.

"I'd like to hear it from Mister Zabini."

"I make sure everything goes well, sir." Goat spoke shyly.

"Don't be coy now, aren't you snogging my ex-girlfriend?"

"Stag!" Both parties shouted in annoyance.

"Can we go, sir?" Harry asked politely, "I'd like my schedule."

"If that's all..."

"Don't forget to feed Lily!" Harry called as Dorea flooed back to their house. "She hates it when I call her mum..." Harry gave a fond sigh.

"Beside that point." Turtle added, "I absolutely refuse even if Stag jumped on."

Goat said nothing as they filed their way out of the headmaster's office, "Wait... I can't be seen with you losers, bye!"

Harry ran the fastest of all of the unspeakables in his age group, so he made it to the hall with no problems.

* * *

Nothing interesting seemed to happen, he spent most of his time in his classes writing dirty limericks in code.

"Potter!" Harry sat up. "What is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?" Harry gaped.

"There's a difference?" He demanded, "What is it?"

"Mister Potter is by far the best prepared of all of the Gryffindors." Professor Snape said with a deathly calm, "Mister Longbottom on the other hand..."

"Hermione actually raised her hand!" Longbottom snapped back.

"Fifteen points from Gryffindor for your backtalk, Mister Longbottom!" Professor Snape stated sharply, daring him to say something else and lose the other fifteen they had managed to earn total. Harry smiled at the thought. Harry raised his own hand, "Yes, Mister Potter?"

"When will the lesson resume, sir?"

"Right now." Harry gaped at the simple instructions that appeared on the board. He took his ingredients and finished in half the time, before raising his hand. "Mister Potter?"

"I love potions, sir. Please excuse me for finishing too soon." A cauldron bubbled over, proving to be...

"Mister Longbottom!" The poor boy had added the porcupine quills too quickly and Harry released a laugh as he pointed.

"I couldn't even fix that mess!" Goat steadily kept his head down and Turtle glared.

Harry basked in their hatred.

* * *

On the Thursday that followed Harry was pleasantly surprised when something else interesting happened—"Hey, Longbottom, are you _trying_ to kill yourself?" The tearful boy gave him an angry glare. "Its just a sprained wrist!"

"He's right..." Madam Hooch murmured, "I will have a substitute out here soon enough, none of you had better leave the ground or I will have you expelled faster than you can say _quidditch_!" She shot a pointed look at Harry who leaned back with his arms spread in a gesture of surrender.

"Look, Longbottom's remembrall!" Harry jerked his head to the upcoming scene as Malfoy began gloating. Weasely rose to the occasion.

"Give it here, Malfoy!" He shouted in his face.

Personally, Harry would have beaten it off of him.

"No." Malfoy sneered. Harry didn't interrupt to insult Weasely though he wanted to... "I'll leave it up somewhere for Longbottom to find, like up a tree!"

Harry resisted the urge to follow as the boy waited for _someone_ to follow him, "Do it!" Harry shouted, "Leave it in the Whomping Willow, try to get hit by the branches while your at it!"

"You do it!"

"Okay!" He mounted and took off, not at all surprised that Malfoy evaded him. "Give it here." He held out his hand, a new idea coming to mind.

"Go get it!"

Malfoy shot it to the ground and Harry didn't hesitate to go after it, quite smug that he caught it just before it hit the ground, "Ha! I'll be able to buy a _Wenig Leicht_ when it comes out for sure!" He landed and spotted a certain cat professor.

"Oh, Mister Potter! You've saved Neville Longbottom's remembrall!" Harry laughed.

"Its mine now."

"Mister Potter..." Her warning tone didn't faze him.

"I could buy a customized _Wenig Leicht_ with this kind of money!" The preferred brooms of the Department of Mysteries, they were extremely expensive and Harry was forbidden to borrow one for even his own missions' use after ruining the only one he had ever ridden.

"Mister Potter, you can't seriously—"

"Oh yes." Harry answered breezily, "The market's really good for these things, if I need help with the detailing I suppose I could steal a sock or three and sell those too."

"Just come with me... class dismissed!"

* * *

"So... sneaking around Hogwarts to find something to kill didn't work..." Harry all but grumbled, earning a smack upside the head by Turtle.

"Well, we can't always find mountain trolls in or near a girl's bathroom." She stated in her most authoritative voice, "Wasn't this your idea?"

"Shut up!" Harry snapped, "Next week we're going to the Forbidden Forest!" Goat gave a terrified squeak as Harry looked behind them.

"Goat, I swear to all things magical if you shat your pants—"

"Troll..."

"What did you call me?! Don't think I won't kick your—"

"Stag!" Turtle hissed quietly, "There's a mountain troll around the corner, I want you to run up and kill it so that we can get to the Halloween feast."

"There's a restroom here, right?"

"Yeah, but—"

"I don't care if its a girl's loo, I gotta go." Harry pulled out his hunting knife, placed it between his teeth, and ran into the bathroom as Longbottom and Weasely entered it. With no hesitation Harry leapt as high as he could, making it onto the trolls back. He climbed up and guided (see: steered him with his ears) out of the bathroom, making the beast slam its head into the wall.

Harry _barely_ jumped off in time as it knocked itself out.

"_Ooh, I wish he didn't..."_

He pulled the knife from between his teeth and slit the throat, knowing that it would wake up.

He gurgled, struggling to breath as he grasped at his throat, "Try me." Harry answered as those beady eyes caught sight of him.

"Please do!" Turtle hollered, "We don't need him to reach the age of reproduction!" Harry didn't hesitate to turn towards her, to turn his back on the troll.

"Again with the puberty thing! I'll have you know that _I_ had my first wet dream last night!" The troll grabbed him, just as Weasely pointed his incompatible wand.

"Was I in it?"

"You made a mistake today, boy!" Harry bellowed as he freed his knifing arm. The troll gurgled as he hacked off a finger; he jumped to the ground and pulled open his robes.

"You're sick, Stag."

"And just how many people can say that they've pissed into the open wound of a dying troll?"

"Well?"

"No, you were the farthest thing from my mind as the big booby lady did this one thing—"

"How can you take so long to piss?"

"Shut up, Goat; I had _a lot_ of... something."

"Ah, so you _did_ filch that bottle of brandy."

"Mister Potter!"

"Thank you, Goat!" Harry shouted angrily as the head's of houses happened upon them, Harry could only continue tinkling away.

"What is going on?" McGonagall demanded angrily as Hermione stepped up.

"It was my fault professor." Harry laughed harshly. "I—"

"Hey, hey, Racey-Tracey... tell them what the _whole_ school knows..."

"You mean that she's been crying in the bathroom all afternoon because of what a boy said to her?"

"Oi, Blaise, tell them who the boy was."

"Well..."

"Goat..."

"Oh, Ron Weasely... his exact words: _It's no wonder she doesn't have any friends._" The professors all rounded on the other students as Harry gave his willie two firm shakes.

He zipped up and reached into his potions pouch, a system flusher was needed in case...

"Don't you dare drink that!"

"But—but, Turtle, I'm _really_ drunk." He chugged it down and only smirked at her expression of shock, followed by realization, before... "Bleh!"

"I'll gladly kill you on day!"

If Harry had had the capacity to laugh, he would have—"Turtle, now would be a good time to make it impossible for anyone here to tell..." Goat whispered, "No one needs to know that Stag can take down a mountain troll without a wand." Harry wiped his lips with a flourish, making sure to flick the vomit onto Goat.

Goat knew better than to glare.

* * *

"When did _you_ make the quidditch team?" Turtle demanded, "You couldn't mention that at least once?" Goat continued staring into the corner. Grandmother had come to watch his game... not really, she knew he was a reckless flier; she just wanted her stash of god-bod potions.

"I think the better question is who cursed his broom."

"Quirrel." Harry and Turtle stated with shared annoyance. Goat winced in his corner as Turtle began scolding him.

"Sweetie, what part of corner time do you not understand? Stop laughing, Stag!"

"Its just, I'm waiting to see his testicles on an earring!" He laughed harder.

"You know that daddy said I can't get my ears pierced!" He was laughing so hard no sound escaped, "Come out, Goat."

"Thank you, dear." Harry was gasping for air now. "What's so funny?" Harry took a deep breath.

"Did you just thank her for punishing you?" He asked a voice he could barely understand in an effort to stop laughing. Goat looked at his feet.

"Don't listen to him, honey. He's the one with no boobies to fondle."

"Well!" Harry shouted before freezing up.

"_Well _what?"

"I actually have no answer to that." Harry responded, his eyes wide with shock. "I mean it."

"Uh-oh..." Goat whispered, "That means..."

"Bad luck." Turtle finished, "I can't think of one to give to you so we'll ride out the storm."

"Let's not think of the potential situations." Harry responded as he continued his batch of god-bod potions, "You know that they happen..."

"Like—"

"Shut up, you spazz!" Goat flinched, the direness of the situation seeming to _finally_ hit him.

"Okay, we'll be cool." Harry stated as he pulled out the bottles of liquor he had filched from the kindly old groundskeeper, "I need you guys to hide these for me."

"Nope." Turtle stated.

"I'm with her." Goat left first, shockingly enough. Turtle followed with no hesitation and Harry didn't resist the groan.

* * *

_Once again..._

"Shh... its Potter." Granger hissed loudly in an attempt at subtlety, "You know he's up to something... why else would they send unspeakables to Hogwarts?"

"To steal the..." Weasely trailed off as Harry shot them a glare. "Thingy." It was fortunate that the library was as big as it was. His invention, for the first time he had come up with a non-potion related invention. If he could just figure out how to make it potion resistant...

"What d'ya recon he's doing?" Longbottom asked.

"Probably trying to figure out who Nicolas Flamel is." His eyes widened in horror as he realized exactly what was being guarded in the school.

He stood and marched right up to them.

"I want you to understand one thing... _this_ is not something you want to dabble with. Nicolas Flamel is a monster of a man who will _never_ be easy to take down even without the..." Harry shuddered, recalling his training with the man. "I'm not going to go there but you _do not_ want to destroy it."

"Sit down." Granger stated pleasantly, "Tell us where you know him from." Harry turned and walked away with no hesitation... maybe the department would pay him a pretty knut if it did enough damage... it would be perfect for distractions when smoke or fogs...

"What a prick." Weasely snapped.

"Ron..." Granger hissed, "He's our means of finding out."

"It would be easy if he wasn't an... _unspeakable_." Longbottom whispered. "We need to figure this out on our own." Harry smiled as he figured out the arithmency formula matched with the results what he wanted to get out of it.

* * *

"What are these things?" Tracey demanded as they sat on the Hogwarts Express on their way home.

"_These things_ are the next generation of unspeakable ranged combat." Harry responded.

"What do you call them?"

"I'm thinking of calling them blasting... something. Get back to me on that. Its a device that hurls blasting potions at great speeds, I've even managed to slip a means of switching between—aha, blasters!—dangerous and not-dangerous."

"You're an idiot, they haven't even updated the equipment or the combat since the eighteen hundreds. Do you think they'll happen to agree with your invention after all the hell you've put them through?"

"Well... I'll keep them for when someone betrays the Department of Mysteries and—hello, Granger."

"I was hoping we could talk?"

"Let me guess, Nicolas Flamel? Don't say a word Goat, I don't want them going down there."

"I heard he's supposed to pick up our training again." Turtle added.

The three shared a shudder of horror.

"I'm curious, do you plan on stealing what's down there?"

"No way!" Harry exclaimed, "The old fucker would skin and salt me alive—again!" Turtle whimpered.

"He chopped off my ears and regrew them."

"He made me read every one of those dirty comics of Dolphins."

"Wait, what?" Turtle exclaimed.

"I pity you." Harry stated, "I read one on my off time, I can't _believe_ that that guy gutted a shark and fucked the intestines."

"Okay..." Granger looked sick, "Leave, you're not getting anything from us."

"But—"

"Go!" Harry snapped as he pulled out his blaster.

"Why do you have a gun?"

"Its a blaster!" Harry snapped, "Don't look at me like that, I'm still working on the name!"

Granger stepped out of the compartment.

"We're willing to train with them." Turtle admitted.

"Wait, what?"

"Really?" Harry asked excitedly as Goat stared incredulously at his girlfriend. "Alright, we'll need the clearance to destroy some dueling dummies."

"Which is what Goat is for."

"Please don't make me..."

"Plus you two will need to learn..." He shuddered at the thought. "You two will need to learn my secret potions."

"Oh, Stag... this must be hard for you." Harry gave a sad nod.

"I also have a means of beating the Unspeakable Stance." Goat gasped a curse in Italian.

"I hate to say it... but you're a genius."

Harry pouted, "I thought that was already established."

* * *

"Hey, mummy!" Harry said excitedly as he gripped his present, handmade, in his hands. "I made you a Christmas present." He hoped that it would suit her tastes.

"Yay!" She cried out happily, nearly choking on the sweet he had given her after giving her her potion. He held out the present, wrapped up in a shiny paper with animated kittens.

"I won't be here for Christmas... so I hope that this will keep you distracted until then." She was indeed distracted, the animated puppy barked, his tail wagging jerkily. It had taken so long to figure out how to make it's tongue moist always. "What will you name it?"

She pointed to him.

"Harry?"

"Boy!" She scolded, "Boy!" She focused on the puppy, making Harry happy. Her smiles, though they never seemed to reach her eyes, but when they were directed at him they made his smile go particularly wide.

"I won't be back, so I hope you have fun with... Boy." Harry left her room, equipped with its own bathroom and a small icebox with all of her favorite foods. For now... he had a mission to complete.

* * *

"What are those garish things?" Grandmother demanded upon spotting his creations in their custom made holsters. "Wherever did you get the parts for it?"

"I _do_ have an allowance to spend." Harry smiled brightly, "I just told them what I wanted down at the lab and I put it all together."

"Your mission is simple, you are to guard—"

"Oh, Grandmother..." He groaned as he examined the folder.

"Draco Malfoy. Its his first debut into high society as a young man, don't screw this up."

"That's not too bad, actually. He's almost as bad as Longbottom... but not as bad. Who will I be working with?"

"Goat and Turtle." Harry shrugged, "No chaperones."

"Any specifics I should be aware of?"

"None that I can think of... what did they say when you showed them these things at the laboratory?" She asked, a smug smile in play. Dorea knew but wanted to ruin his mood.

"They... laughed."

It had worked.

* * *

The party was going horridly, especially since...

"Hey, Greengrass, why don't you leave me alone?" Harry asked calmly as The Package glared at him.

_'Ah...'_ The younger of the two was admittedly pretty if Harry had anything to say about it even as she pouted. But the elder...

"Oh, _Harry_..." Harry wanted to sneak off with her and snog like there was no tomorrow.

"Excuse me." Harry grumbled as The Package came close to a fist fight. He pushed at The Package's chest and twisted Longbottom's arm... "Don't touch him."

Longbottom in the meantime was whimpering as Turtle led him off with soothing nothings.

"Don't talk to that prick, Malfoy." Harry stated, "I might get lost when he's whooping your arse." Harry smiled in amusement at The Package's pale face.

"Its your job to protect me!"

"From certain death." Harry responded, "It's all in the contract, I read it. 'Sides, you're not going to get off as easily as he will for assault, being the Boy-Who-Lived and all."

"My father—"

"Isn't a major power in Britain, the Ministry of Magic is a yes... but not Britain. Don't you think he'll be embarrassed if you get into a fight on your first debut?" The Package huffed and nodded, "Don't make trouble, mingle. We have another agent around here, so hang out with him."

"Huh?"

"Go find him." Harry stated.

"Who is—how'd he disappear?" The Package grumbled as Harry led Daphne Greengrass away.

* * *

A quick physical assault from his blaster led to the kidnapper falling to the ground—"How'd he get kidnapped with you two in the room?" They had nothing to say to that, "Come on, you're done for the night."

"I can—"

"You've wet yourself." Harry answered patiently, "Get up, your father has to know what happened... _Turtle_!"

"Yes, Stag?"

"Find out who's behind this. Take my blaster and end him when you finish." Harry led The Package away.

* * *

When Lucius Malfoy found his son drenched in his own urine he hadn't been happy, but Harry had calmly explained the situation.

"Where were _you_, Stag?" He didn't blush, answering in the same briefing voice.

"Snogging the second Greengrass child." The Package gasped.

"I almost got kidnapped so you could—"

"Hush, Draco." Lucius growled, "I thank you for your work, I would have lost my only son tonight if you had not been as vigilant as you were. However, I _will_ put—"

"Stag!" Turtle walked in as Goat dragged the still unconscious kidnapper behind them, "It's a homunculus."

"Huh, that means that the animation wore off..." Harry couldn't help but blush as he realized something. "Why would they send one of _those_ out here to kidnap someone?"

"At least it's creative..." Goat mumbled breathlessly.

"Shut up, Goat." Harry frowned at Turtle, "Get your panties dried, I'm bringing this too the lab."

"Shut up, Stag!"

"Do _you_ want to do it?" Her face reddened. "I mean bring it to the lab! Goat, you're doing it."

"Why me?"

"And _who's_ the one with the awesome fighting capabilities?" Goat nodded sadly and began the process of dragging the homunculus to the elevator. "Turtle, help him guard it... the mission's over." She shot him one last _look_.

"I understand if you write a complaint against me, but keep in mind that they won't pair me up with your son again... even if you ask personally." It was than that the mother walked in and gave Harry a hug.

"Thank you _dearly_, Stag... if you hadn't been so diligent in your work who knows where my son would be?" She shot a pointed look at her husband, "You _will_ be paying more to him specifically."

"Thank you, Madam Malfoy. But..." She shot him a glare that reminded him of his grandmother.

It must have been a Black thing.

"Alright, Lucius... do make sure the goblins are ready." She turned to The Package, "My poor little dragon... we're taking you home _right_ now."

Harry walked them to the floo and watched them leave before running off to the lab to see the results.

* * *

"_It wasn't a British citizen, or even a human being."_

He recalled the words as he boarded the Hogwarts Express. Who the hell would kidnap that ponce? It wouldn't even be that much of a bother if he disappeared, really! But...

There was no evidence of any mind control on Greengrass, nor any potions or proof that she was interested in seeing the young heir kidnapped—"I can't believe that anyone would find _you_ attractive!" Harry smiled brightly at her.

"Didn't _you_?" Harry crossed his arms and closed his eyes, "Face it, if you had less self respect you'd've been humping my leg."

"You are aware that they've removed a layer of my runes, right?" Harry stiffened and looked at her nose.

"Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_." He shuddered, "I can't make your brain explode like I _so_ want to, but I can still do _this_!"

Harry fell over screaming.

* * *

"What the—how'd you recover?" Harry smiled as cheekily as he could.

"What kind of a tank would I be if I didn't have a cure for an aneurism."

"I didn't give you an aneurism." Harry separated from them with an amused smile.

Why were there two Turtle's when he had left?

* * *

_Classes came and went while Harry did careful arithmetic to stay mediocre. He kept his head down and could be found out late at night... _

"Duck, Goat, geez!"

_Doing..._

"Its not my fault that you've broken my whole fighting style!" He cried out.

_Late night training._

"You're such a bitch!" Harry shouted as he attacked in the same way Nicolas Flamel had taught him.

"Not all of us were in tank training." An exhausted Turtle snapped.

"Tank training? This is a warmup." Both shared a look.

"I'm out." They stated as one.

"Wha—guys, come on..." Harry sighed in annoyance. "I'll go easy on you if you come back?"

They shared a laugh.

"How about... we'll brew the potions for my blasters so we don't have to use empty phials?" Turtle stopped. "I'll even include you in the designs of my next set of blasters?"

Much to his delight they came back, "Well?"

"We're going to go harvest the ingredients of the easiest ones, let's go." Harry stated.

"Where are we going?" Blaise demanded, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh, just the Forbidden Forest." Harry answered easily, "Just a hint: its best to go off of the main path in order to find the best plants."

"What?" Goat squeaked.

"There's more danger—"

"Do we have to go without you?" Harry smiled reassuringly at them.

"Leave all of the dangerous creatures to me." Harry's smile didn't reassure them in the least bit. Good, because he expected them to do some of the work too. He tossed them the extra ingredients pouches he carried, "The good thing about my potions is that I make sure to use common ingredients."

"What if you run out on foreign soil?"

"_Shut up_, Goat." He snarled, "Keep your wands ready."

* * *

Much to their surprise they had had to cast Notice-Me-Nots themselves.

"Oh dear..." Turtle groaned, "I think that dragon was real."

"How'd we miss that?" Goat demanded quietly.

"That _would_ explain why Weasely had that venomous bite..."

"How did you _not_ look into that?" Turtle hissed.

"Because shut your face." Harry hissed back.

"Shall we follow them?" Goat asked, interrupting the impending fight. Harry gave a long suffering sigh.

"If it's more important than doing some real damage than sure..."

"I agree." Turtle stated matter-of-factly as Harry watched the distortion of air head towards the main path.

"If we figure this out... I'm going with Longbottom, something interesting always happens to him. I want you both to take the other group." Harry paused, "Remember the basic non-detection spells."

He heard the swishing of wands as he did the same spell layers.

Of course he had no intention of bothering with Longbottom and Malfoy, he honestly hoped that they died.

He had an ingredient pouch to fill up...

* * *

He finished quickly, so used to it was he. He tracked them when he heard a girlish scream, running full speed to the site. He gasped in pain when he spotted the robed figure gliding towards Longbottom.

It was automatic, honest!

He whipped out his blaster and shot out a phial, sending the creature fleeing with a headshot. "Glass?" He heard Longbottom demand, rather loudly for a forest filled with man-eating creatures... he examined the scene and gasped in horror, canceling the enchantments that covered his body. "Potter?!"

"What killed this unicorn?" He demanded, he examined the corpse with a frown. "It wasn't a vampire, they have a preference for red blooded creatures... werewolves only attack humans and vampires and its not even the full moon... there would be no unicorn if it was a troll—"

"Very astute, Harry Potter." Harry's blaster was at the ready before he immediately relaxed. Centaurs were far more dangerous than any wizard could hope to be, "You have no reason to fear me."

"What killed this unicorn?" Harry demanded again.

"A very dark and monstrous creature." Harry frowned in thought.

"A lethifold? Isn't that a tropical beast?"

"You ask the wrong questions." Harry looked to the sky where the centaur was looking at.

"What's with Mars?" He asked, "You're just _looking _at it."

"Its very bright tonight." Harry squinted his eyes to the sky with a frown. "I will take you both back."

"Thank you." Longbottom stated, recapturing his bearings.

"Firenze!" A centaur called angrily. Harry watched the argument, wanting so very badly to run away lest they set their eyes on him and attack. All three of them had bows and Harry knew that they would attack at any sudden movements.

"Excuse me." Harry said quietly as he grabbed Longbottom's arm. "I don't want to be a bother so we'll be walking back on our own." He didn't wait for an answer and dragged Longbottom off with no hesitation.

"Why'd you save me?"

"Eh..." He answered.

As soon as they reached the edge he stunned him and sprinted to the castle, leaving Longbottom there.

* * *

He was currently wondering why he was doing this in the first place.

_'Oh right!'_

"_Mister Potter—Stag, if you protect Mister Longbottom while I am away I will allow you to go to Hogsmeade in your third year. Your mother _is_ your legal guardian as you're aware..."_

Harry sighed in annoyance, glad that he was silenced. The Three Stooges weren't even able to grasp the concept of sneaking! Where had Longbottom gotten an invisibility cloak in the first place? His eyes widened in horror as realization hit him. He froze as anger coursed through him for a whole ten minutes before he canceled his spells and ran after them.

_He blasted the door open, making sure that it was loud enough to wake the whole castle. The Devil's Snare wasn't a challenge, he summoned the key, and—"_Caught you idiots..." He grumbled as he pulled out his long distance blaster, "I suppose you idiots actually thought to play across?"

"What's wrong with that?" Weasely demanded, his ears oddly red.

"Well... how about the fact that _this_ is easier?" He looked through the monoscope and—"Boom, all fixed, go back while I go on."

They hesitated in following him, "How'd you know we were coming here?" Curse Granger's stupid curiosity.

"You do not have the clearance for that information." Harry responded as he stepped into the room behind them. He checked the contents of the bottles before taking the one with the least and running through the flames ahead.

"Why'd you curse my broom?" Harry asked politely as Quirrel examined the mirror, the man ignored him and Harry decided to check the stock in his blaster... hmm, he _really_ shouldn't have had a shooting contest with Goat—it was tied if anyone asked either of them.

Harry's blaster was useless, he put it away and reached into his potions pouch, hoping for... he _really_ shouldn't have had that potion tossing contest with Turtle. He was inadequately prepared for a situation for the first time in his life so he'd have to rely on his... spell work.

"Potter!" Quirrel hollered.

"Merlin!" Harry cried out, "Aren't you like five feet ahead of me? Did you _really _have to shout at that exact volume?"

"Come here." Harry obliged, _really_ wishing that he had focused more on spell work. "I want you to look into the mirror, Potter. Tell me what you see?"

"Mum!" He cried, she was hugging him. "She's hugging me."

"Is there anything else going on?" Harry saw his mother pat his pocket and smile lovingly at him—not the other Harry, but _him_. A lump formed in his throat as he realized that this wasn't ever going to be.

"Yeah..."

"Oh?" Harry felt the _other_ lump and knew...

"I—she's smiling at me... the real me." Quirrel scowled and Harry was pushed to the side.

He didn't hesitate to run out of the room, _they _pointed their wands at him.

"Listen to me, we have to wait for the right moment to ambush Professor Quirrel." He said calmly as he pulled off his gloves. He ducked under a spell from Weasely and punched him hard enough to send him toppling to the ground, unconscious. He grimaced and snatched Granger's wand as she began casting. "No! I'm keeping this until you learn to behave!" He turned to Longbottom who flinched.

"I thought... we thought it was Snape."

"No, that would be stupid. All of the evidence points to Quirrel—"

"He cursed your broom!"

"That was Quirrel." Harry responded, "Plus he should be heading back... ah, I thought of a better plan. It'll scar you emotionally... but..."

Harry waited patiently and only had to wait—"Why are we still here?" Granger demanded. "Neville, take Ron and I'll—"

"_Petrificus Totalis_!" Quirrel fell backwards... right into the flames. Poor bloke didn't have the chance to scream and Harry realized the fault in his plans as a black fog began forming above his body. He took a step back, knocking the flimsy table over. "Shit..."

"Harry Potter... you are fortunate that I am as I am. One day I shall return, and on that day—" Harry had to try it.

"_Scurge_!" The black mass, a very dark and monstrous creature, gave a shout and flew up into the ceiling. Harry thought for a moment—"I killed someone..." He shuddered and began throwing up.

"Ugh... we're still trapped in here!"

"Of—of course... gimme a moment..." Harry gasped and continued shuddering out vomit. "Okay... I'll figure out how to set off an alarm so that whoever made this shitty trap can get in here and get us out of here!"

"That was Professor Snape, he'll make us lose the house cup!"

"We're in last place, get over it." Harry stated with a scowl. "But fine, I'll figure out how to undo this... ah?"

He tried as hard as he could to get it over and done with as quickly as he could.

It took him thirty minutes.

"How do we get up there?"

"There are four of us." Harry deadpanned.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He gave a mighty leap and made it to the trapdoor with no problems. He reanimated the harp and levitated Longbottom, who was holding Weasely, up, followed by Granger—"Ever heard of ladies first?"

"Injuries override that." He got into Stag mode, "Come, we must make it to the hospital wing on account of said injured. Plus my animation charms suck. Hello, Headmaster, I'd like to change the subject of my payment."

"Mister Potter..." Sighing in annoyance Harry shot a pointed glare at Longbottom, "What is it you want?"

"My father's cloak."

"Mister Potter, please understand—"

"_I'm_ the Boy-Who-Lived, _sir_. Plus I _will_ tell my grandmother if you don't give it back right here right now." He grinned at the boy, "She quite hates yours, you know."

"Mister Potter!" Dumbledore stated in a strained voice. "You may have your cloak back, however... you will not receive the other payment."

"Sir—"

Dumbledore sighed sadly, "I am sorry, Mister Longbottom, the cloak belongs to Harry Potter. If you would?"

"Do you _really_ want to test her?" Harry grinned, "Don't forget that my grandmother killed the Minister of Magic in 1940." Dumbledore was left gasping in horror.

"Mister Potter—the Department of Mysteries would not—"

Harry winced, "Don't tell her I said that... also, the Minister of that time was embezzling our funds. Its in the contract of every running Minister to be careful of who they make angry." He took a step towards Longbottom. "My cloak?"

"Mister Longbottom..." Dumbledore pleaded.

Harry didn't doubt that _he_ would have ended up getting some sort of repercussion for saying no in the first place.

"Fine." Harry snatched the cloak and ran towards the common room.

* * *

**This is my attempt at an unlikeable dick as a main character. This fic is based on a show called Archer which is a comedy so you could have expected a lot of (attempts) at humor. Please tell me what you think and if you're interested in taking it since I don't have any idea what to do with it.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Happy birthday to me." A now thirteen-year-old Slytherin croaked tiredly as she looked over the lake. It was to be a lovely full moon tonight and it was the best she could hope for. Her days in Hogwarts were once again numbered and she wished not for the first time that she could spend the break here.

Her eyes widened at the sight across the lake. "Snuffles?" The black dog was running towards the Whomping Willow, two silhouettes, a girl and a boy, following him. With their backs turned, she couldn't see their faces. She didn't need to. At a time like this, it could only be Potter and Granger.

She sighed. An Adventure. How she longed to go on one.

But she was just Adhara Ignoble, the bastard child of a criminal and a drunk.

She gulped down the last of her Songstress Draught and made a choice.

"If Snuffles is in trouble, I'll help him," she said out loud, "He's my…" Her voice became a weak rasp. The potion had worn off.

He was just a dog, but he was her dog.

[***]

Chapter One

[***]

"Missy Addy!" She opened a bleary eye and smiled at the creature. The old house elf gave a tired wheeze. "Mistress Illy is calling for you in the study."

She nodded, her smile grew false. Mother was supposed to be at work.

"You is needing to hurry, Missy Addy!" She kicked off her sheets and forced herself up, sparing a glance at herself in the mirror as she went.

She still looked nothing like her mother, only like a stranger that didn't belong. So she rushed on her way to the study, hoping to avoid any visits from the other half.

"Mistress Illy!" She heard Mipsy groan from over exerting herself, "Missy Addy is—"

"Rest, Mipsy," Mother said soothingly. "Before you go… I want you to know that you're a good house elf, and my breakfast was great."

There was a soft pop as Adhara knocked on the archway.

"Come in." Mother's golden hair, luxurious and glossy, caught her eye immediately. Her eyes narrowed as she patted at her hair, "Don't be jealous of things that won't change."

Adhara nodded, pushing away the old memories from when she could speak, when she had begged her mother to allow her to dye her hair.

"We have bigger things to worry about than money right now, love." She gulped as her mother's eyes narrowed. "You've grown lazy after a single year at Hogwarts."

Her tone was soft and sad, but Adhara knew that she was pretending, expecting a reaction. She had been a Slytherin after all. Mother harrumphed and pouted in true disappointment after a moment.

After a minute of staring, Mother grinned.

She curtsied before approaching the lavender settee that mother was sprawled upon. When mother sat up, she handed Adhara a quill and a large pile of parchment.

This was going to be a long talk.

"Your confidence is better now, so you'll make a fine Ignoble lady when you're older!" She suddenly looked grim. "But for now you're just a girl. Come in and sit with me."

"What was the wand you bought at Ollivander's?"

-Pine with a dragon's heartstring for a core

"What else?"

-10 ½ inches and extremely supple

"I see you know your best friend. A wand is what makes a witch, while two wands make a wizard." Mother stared at her.

It took all of thirty seconds for her to get the idle joke and another ten for her face to heat up to fever like proportions. "Now we get to our point. I want you to maintain your composure no matter what situation you're in. We shall speak of unsavory things today to get you started."

-Do we have to? She wanted to talk about her grades.

"Yes. Your grades have been owled to me and it's not like you have any friends to mention." Ouch, now that was harsh.

Mother huffed in annoyance. "You're supposed to make a comment, an insult over anything you can think of. I should have spent more time on wit than etiquette."

There was a true look of disappointment on her face.

-Im sorry mother

"Proper punctuation, love. First things first, I want you to get a few important names that we'll be using for—don't write them down child! You'll be ruined if someone finds it!"

Adhara nodded vigorously. "Now then, we'll be referring to sex as the horizontal slide." She smiled as she realized that Mother was as thrilled about the topic as her.. "... And finally: we'll refer to eating out as… um… snatch snacking."

\- What's eating out?

Whatever it was, it didn't sound very fun.

"We'll go into detail later, just remember these words so there's no confusion!" Mother looked away for a moment and took a deep breath. "The horizontal slide feels… good... very good."

That was it?

"Don't look at me like that!" Adhara looked away, but Mother's hand brought her back. "The horizontal slide is indescribably good, okay? It… bloody hell…"

-Mother, how is this supposed to help me in social situations if you can't keep up.

"Give me a moment!" Mother put a hand over her heart and took a few calming breaths. She closed her eyes, possibly to do some of those occlumency exercises that Adhara was still too young to learn.

\- Mother, I can come back later.

Adhara placed the note on her lap.

"Stay here! Now then," Adhara frowned at the gleam in her eye and wondered if Miss Illudo was about to come out. It wasn't quite right though…

"The horizontal slide is probably the best dance you'll ever feel." Mother giggled into her hand, a look of bliss on her face.

"I remember my first time… Trixie told me it was awesome and I couldn't help but believe her, you know? She was like an elder sister at Hogwarts, but the boy she set me up with…" Mother trailed off and began giggling.

-What's the point?

"Oh, well… when you're dancing your cherry away for the first time it'll hurt, so dance with a guy who knows what he's doing. I'm not sure if it'll be as good as it was with…" Mother giggled again.

"Remember to never say names if you brag, dear. That's what children do. Which brings us to the next point: snatch snacking." Mother spread her legs slightly and stared off into the distance.

"Women aren't like men, my dear. It takes a genius to master one of us." Her lip curled at a horrible memory before she relaxed her face into a smile. "Men are… easy. The right lick and tug and they'll fall over themselves to please you. Novices still have their own way of pleasing you… training them can be hard, but giving and receiving the rewards are worth it. That's what this dance is about, sharing."

-Can you close your legs?

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I suppose you don't need that view." As mother obliged, Adhara rubbed her throat, the urge to laugh too great . "The next thing I want you to know about is… I don't think I gave a word for it. Hm… it's known as fellatio in socially advanced circles."

-Do I want to know?

"Of course, it's a very important act! Fellatio is when you lap the pop to make the sweet bigger." Bile rose in her throat when she realized exactly what mother was speaking about, "Mind you that men are harder to get started…"

-Plea—

Her quill was snatched, marking the parchment, "You must learn to have these conversations, love. All friends talk about this eventually, just not around certain genders." Mother handed the quill back, "Do not ask me to stop, this conversation is very hard on me. I don't want to speak of these things with my twelve-year-old daughter but it's a must."

-Yes, mother

"Punctuation! Now there are several tricks to lap the pop well but you can learn them on your own… if you want to have a good horizontal dance you'll need to do this, or at least rub the pop so that the sweet will be ready for use. Any questions?" Mother gave her a piercing look before she caved in and asked.

-How do you use the pop?

"The pop goes inside your snatch, of course it can go into the fudge hole too." Mother's word for bum… Adhara shuddered in horror at the thought of either. "Don't look like that, I still want you to contribute more. This is a conversation."

-Okay, mother.

"The fudge hole is something you must learn from someone else if you ever want to try it. I never wanted to, so I never did. There was one thing I suppose I should mention… I believe it would best be called exploration!" Mother took that moment to get closer, "It's important to keep in mind that this involves trust…" Mother pulled back.

"If you still haven't danced it's a good place to start. Your first pop should know what'll make the dance better… it's the safest thing you can do with someone else." Mother looked away from her, seeming to relax for a moment, "There is no actual right way to go about it, just figure out what you like."

Mother turned back to her, a wide grin in play, "Let's get into finger-dowsing!" Mother seemed especially excited to this. "This is the best act of all, Adhara."

-Why?

"Its an act that only you can do for yourself, it's good to help you get started." Adhara's brows furrowed in confusion as she struggled to keep up.

"Finger-dowsing is when you use your digits to replace the pop. It really is the best feeling since no one can help you like you can and sometimes you'll need a helping hand!"

-What do you mean?

"Put two and two together, girl." Mother snapped. She flinched and realized exactly what was being said. "I've simplified this more than you know. We'll have to go over the basics again since you're not getting the facts straight."

-That's alright

She gulped.

-You're doing a very good job!

"Okay then, don't ask further questions. Your digits are your best friends in times of loneliness. I want you to remember that all of these things are natural and it's okay to do them." It still sounded icky. "It's also a great form of stress relief!"

Mother stood up and smiled down at her, giving a nervous titter. "I want you to think about everything that I've said and consider your own opinions. Whether you choose to wait or satisfy any curiosity you have is your choice. Don't come to me with any more questions…"

She didn't realize it until her mother was out the door, humming a merry tune. Mother hadn't been… oh dear—Adhara had just received the talk!

[***]

After a long shower that somehow failed to wash away the grimy feeling on her flesh, Adhara was already finished brewing a pepperup potion.

Mipsy had a nasty cough, and she knew what would happen when their ancestral home, the Ignoble Patch, lost their house elf… oh, it was another thing they couldn't afford.

The old house elf had been around for the longest time, since before her Great-Grandmother's birth…

"Missy Addy is being very kind…" Was it selfish what they were doing? "Thank you, Missy Addy…"

She pushed the house elf down with a hand when she moved to clean the phial.

"Missy, Mipsy can be doing it!" She sighed and forced herself to glare at the old elf. It was just so sad… "Mipsy is being good! Please!"

Adhara took the phial back and purposely tipped the chair she'd been sitting in over. That would distract the house elf long enough for her to make a getaway with the dirty phial.

She was just so… old! Mother even insisted that, when she was on ordered naptime, they clean up after themselves and such.

Adhara sighed again and rushed faster to her bathroom.

It was forbidden for Mipsy to enter their personal areas, lest they accidentally free her. That was the excuse at least.

"I'm home!" Mother called from the floo hall, there was a certain edge to her tone. Adhara gulped when she recognized what it meant for her.

She locked her door after herself and entered the adjoining bathroom. Maybe if she hid under her bed…?

It would be foolish to run away from Miss Illudo, it only made her angrier. She placed the dirty phial in her sink and steeled herself. She was quick to walk back to the entrance of her room, but hesitated in opening the door.

"Where's my little spawn?" She called as Adhara began shaking. With a heavy breath Adhara unlocked her door. With another breath she stepped out of the room. "I can't stand to look at you!"

They looked nothing alike, save for the eyes… as she fell to a silent spell she allowed herself to dream of a what if.

But then Miss Illudo used her favorite spell, snapping Adhara back into reality before she could properly make her escape.

"Morsus Asperitas!"

[***]

"My poor baby…" Mother whimpered later on as she levitated Adhara to bed, "I love you very, very much."

Adhara knew this, so she reached out and touched her mother's soft, golden hair. Mother's blue eyes were puffy as they continued releasing tears.

"I didn't mean to."

But it was her fault, right? If she hadn't needed that talk surely mother wouldn't have had the trouble at work that had caused this. If she hadn't been stupid mother would have gladly left her to find out on her own. If she hadn't been born…

Mother would be her own person.

"Don't cry, baby!" Mother released a sob, "I'm truly sorry!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

When she opened her eyes she parted her lips in an attempt to speak. 'I love you,' She wanted to say, but all that came out was a raspy gurgle.

"I love you…" Adhara closed her eyes, unable to look at her mother's miserable face. Her mother's tears touched her face and she gulped her tears back in an attempt to make it better.

[***]

She loved life.

Not hers, goodness gracious no!

She loved the life in the vast gardening space that surrounded her house… she worked the gardening shears through the flowering quince, avoiding the thorns and snipping the prettiest flowers for her mother.

Mother hadn't been there this morning for breakfast and Mipsy was on sleeping duty.

So it was either this or her essays.

"Mummy's so sorry!" She recalled her mother saying as she had levitated Adhara out from under her bed. "I bought you a present!"

She smiled when a particularly pretty blossom caught her eye. Mother was becoming nicer anyway.

Adhara had been able to speak a little back then, "I love it!" She had rasped when she had seen the potted plant. Mipsy had given her some water and she had promptly watered the plant.

"Since we no longer have Cocoa I thought you could use a friend. Remember that a friend can be anything and is to be treated kindly…" She even recalled how her mother had suddenly become Miss Illudo. "Treat it well."

Thus she treated this plant as well as she could, to this day. Even if mother had been a little mean last night—she flinched when the she carelessly pricked her thumb on a thorn.

She glanced at her basket and smiled.

All she had to do now was strip off the thorns so she could make her mum a present.

Adhara thought for a moment. Would mother allow her to add more to her garden? She had a few daisies, snapdragons, and tulips of assorted colors but there was surely more that could be done…

Adhara got to work on the blossoms she had chosen. If mother said yes… she would have laughed at the thought if she could have.

Mother had enough on her plate and buying silly flowers was pointless when they already had enough. So she got to work on her flower crown.

When mother returned to the house, she'd surely wear it.

A chill went down her spine.

She pricked her finger again, this time on the thorns of one of the flowers she had clipped—the front door slammed open.

"Come in the house, come in the house now!" Mother shrieked desperately. "Oh, my darling star! Please hurry!"

She dropped her basket of flowers and ran in with no hesitation, when they hugged each other mother released a sob.

"Don't leave the house on your own, please! Oh, Adhara—Adhara, he'll come and he'll hurt us!" Adhara closed her eyes, desperately struggling to think of a way to comfort her. "Oh—its Sirius Black, he's escaped!"

Her eyes snapped open and she hugged her mother tighter.

Mother was never one to break down over anything. Something terrible was coming, "Don't you ever leave me!" Mother gave a few shuddering breaths. "Never leave me alone…"

Adhara ran her fingers through her mother's hair hoping to soothe her.

[***]

Adhara yawned that bright morning and smiled, 'What a wretched day…'

It was cloudy, like it was about to rain so mother wouldn't be able to work—"Adhara!"

She took a breath and continued her work in the kitchen. Without work there would be no money for food.

"Hurry up, girl!" She recognized that cringe inducing voice. It seemed there would be no escape from either of them. She picked up the tea tray and began her way towards the sitting room. Great-Aunt Druella gave her a sneer, "Hasn't she learned to speak yet?"

It was a common thing from the old woman, speaking of people in front of them. Adhara gulped back her true emotions.

"I was always a firm believer in that whole children should be seen and not heard craze, Madam Black." Mother's hair had been cut and sold, she saw. Mother shot Adhara a pointed glare. "If you would kindly stop gaping like a dying doxy and serve our tea?"

This meeting was important so she had to be especially competent.

"Enough chit-chat, there is a reason I came… here, after all." Great-Aunt Druella gave a sniff as Adhara served her mother's cup first. "At least you've taught her better manners than my daughters know." Adhara would have sighed in relief if she were willing to show weakness. Druella's cup was served.

"My dear Adhara is such a bright child." Mother gushed in an unusual show of pride. Druella frowned in thought.

"Speaking of her grades…" Madam Black paused, causing her stomach to drop. Druella had high expectations and had warned her what would happen if she scored less than an E in History, her worst class. "Her scores were sufficient. I've decided to give her an allowance for her Hogsmeade weekends should you let her go next year." Druella was never one to get to the point, which bode trouble for them.

"Madam Black, we thank you for your kindness." Mother said before shooting a glare at Adhara. She refilled Great-Aunt's cup.

"With Cassiopeia's passing this past week due to my nephew's escape we will need someone of true Black blood to take over as head." Adhara stared for a moment but managed to refill her mother's cup. "Adhara's first born will be signed over to our family if she wishes to continue her Hogwarts education."

Adhara's stare intensified, absolutely horrified—"Of course, she'd be happy to sign!" Mother stated primly as her cup was refilled.

"Make sure that the father is of good blood, or you'll be serving your debt to that lily-wristed Malfoy boy." Her tone heralded illwill either way. Adhara didn't nod back. "Well girl?"

She did nothing, genuinely stuck between her limited choices.

If she said no, her education would have ended then and there. Mother's own scores were poor and she struggled to eke out a living on her own. But if she said yes…

She gulped and nodded, hoping that her child's father would understand, hoping that her child would understand.

[***]

With black robes that shined in the candlelit night, she knew she didn't stand out.

She preferred it that way.

It was good to stay in the back, people at the front were required to speak and that was something she could not do—who was she kidding?

She just wasn't the same social butterfly her mother was.

"My Aunt-in-Law was a noble woman," Druella was saying, "In all instances of doubt, it was her who provided me the guidance that made me the great witch I am today. She was wise, gracious, and the pinnacle of what every Lady ought to strive to be."

Adhara sucked in a breath, recalling the dead woman's promise to heal her throat. She had even showed her notes of a potion.

"If you think for one moment that I shall suffer an ill word about her, to point out that she did not have children of her own, I will not accept you as family. It was her who tutored many of you jackanapes in the old ways and it is her who we honor today."

Mother had once said that Great-Great-Aunt Cassiopeia was known as The Merciful Basilisk. Adhara swallowed as the lump grew thicker. Cassiopeia had made her feel…

"We are all connected in many ways, but the most important way we are related today is for our love of Cassiopeia Violetta Black, daughter of Cygnus of the great line Black and Violetta of the noble line Bulstrode. It is now we have come together to—" Adhara began looking around, looking for someone her age to hover near when the eulogy was over. Mother pinched her. "—and let it be said that she will be missed as a paragon of beauty and all that we stand for, purity!"

She joined in with the polite clapping, doing her best to hide her true emotions.

It had been Cassiopeia who had decided to pay her way to Hogwarts when mother had begged, and now…

Cassiopeia had taught her proper pureblood etiquette. There had always been laughs shared, and now…

Her Great-Great-Aunt had never raised her wand at her, no matter how distracted she'd allow herself to get during her tutoring sessions, and yet…

She was gone.

Adhara swallowed the lump and raised her wand to the sky, shooting off pink sparks in the direction of the stars.

Pink had been her favorite color.

The body—she'd never think of it as a corpse—was lit as a pyre by the last woman who carried the name Black as the sparks stopped. Mother led her off after Druella, "This was Cassiopeia's idea," Druella said when they reached an ornate study. "You honor her wishes with this."

Adhara nodded, hoping that Cassiopeia had left her something, a trinket to memorialize the time they shared.

"The reading is to be this Christmas," Druella said. "Your presence is required."

Mother smiled as she led Adhara out towards the reception, "You're a very good girl." 

Adhara's head jerked towards some bushes and she could swear she saw…

It took all of her strength not to turn tail and run.

Was the Grim seriously here?

Her fear showed, "Don't worry," Mother said, misinterpreting her emotions. "I'm sure you'll get something good."

It was just a black dog…

"Go have fun, my love."

[***]

It was a few weeks later, when she was going through their groceries, she wondered on something she had never thought to do before, although one would think she'd learned her lesson when curiosity really did kill her cat.

Mother, she wrote down on some scrap parchment as their geriatric house elf, Mipsy, awoke and set about her chores.

"Yes, lovie?" Mother asked, with a somewhat strained voice.

May I know who my father is?

Mother stopped her equation for a moment, acting as though she were actually thinking about it, "Let me try to remember." She returned to her arithmancy, "Go finish your essays in the meantime."

She had drafted them on the way back from Hogwarts and was already on her way through the second draft for all but Transfiguration.

She hovered until her mother sighed and ran a hand through her short, golden hair, "You are a Black by blood and looks,except for your eyes." She smiled faintly, twin pairs of baby blue interlocking. "Your father is the last man with the name Black running around."

Pollux had passed the year before she had started Hogwarts… so that left…

She shook her head and her hand went over her mouth as she took a step back.

"Yes dear, Sirius Black." Mother's wand whipped out. It was then that Mother lost her warmth, as she did in these situations. "What did I tell you about stupidity, love?"

She wrote down her answer, accepting her fate.

-Stupidity should always receive pain

"Morsus Asperitas!"

She was going to Hogwarts the next day, she realized through the haze of pain.

[***]

"I'll miss you." Mother whispered fiercely while they stayed in their tight embrace longer than the average child would find necessary. "Behave and get good grades." She pulled back and gave her a kiss on the forehead and both cheeks.

They were pretty inconspicuous compared to the other, larger families that were there, but it was better that way. In their own bubble they were all that mattered. She didn't need her father since she had her loving mother—she cut off the bitter thoughts.

"I want you to know that I love you very much." Adhara hugged her again, head on her chest, wishing they could stay like this forever. Mother gave her a gentle push. "I want you to enjoy yourself and make at least one friend."

Adhara nodded, smiling wide, and hugging her once more. Adhara rushed onto the train and looked back to give her mother one last wave and frowned to see that she was gone.

"I work, you know." She shuddered as soon as she recalled those words from her very last tantrum and continued on her way to find a compartment of her own.

It was for the best, she realized. If mother stopped working they wouldn't have food to eat or shelter to live in. The Blacks would never take them both in! It would be a dream to live with such grandeur, it was something she'd been taught to for as long as she could remember—"Cho!" A Ravenclaw shouted to her house mate; they took the compartment that she wanted. If she had wanted to be expelled she'd have stolen it back with some good old fashioned Ignoble curses.

When she finished calming herself for all of five seconds, the longest it had ever taken for her to walk away from a confrontation.

She walked on and found one right next to the very end. She'd much rather intrude a group meeting over sitting at the very end of the Express. Adhara forced herself to smile as she pulled out the customary book from Druella.

'Every family has a great history…' She scowled at the book, the most recent copy of Majestic Masses. If mother saw her reading this particular passage—"The fall of the Ignoble family is proof that weak links can be born of even the strongest lines. This link was not a squib but a foolish—she stopped reading in her disgust.

Uncle Inmitus had been quick to sell himself to the goblins as a laborer to repay the family debts. They had still been left very poor though… Adhara sighed as the trolley lady came by, gave her a single cold look, and moved on.

Mother had bullied her in Hogwarts, apparently.

Oh, how funny it was: a queen-bee's daughter without a single friend. She decided to pull out her history book and started on that, just as the train began to slow.

"Idiot!" Miss Illudo? She gulped and brought her book closer to her face, if she held still… "You can never do anything right, can you?"

The chills that filled her didn't help matters, oh goodness no…

"Adhara, if you were any worse at this I fear I'd disown you." Why was she saying those things again? Weren't all those other times enough?

"Girl!" This time it was Miss Illudo who spoke, "Do you need a reminder of what happens to those who fail?"

"Oh, dearest… why must you always disappoint me?" She gave a violent shiver when her mother's voice changed back.

"Bad things only happen to bad people, girl."

It was the first time in a long time that she cried, "Oh, Adhara! Stop being so weak, this is why no one will want you when you grow up!"

[***]

She woke up, showered, and made her way to the hospital wing while keeping a low profile. No one noticed her and no one cared about her since she made no effort to speak to anyone.

It wasn't that hard to get her daily potion from Madam Pomfrey in private as a result. She was sitting in breakfast listening to all the latest gossip. Malfoy, her second cousin, was doing an impression of Potter fainting.

"The Potter fangirls are going to suffer when Black gets him." Harry Potter and those around him had the annoying habit of being in the center of everything.

"Did you hear?" The conversation was being whispered and she knew it was wrong to listen, "Potter's pet muggle is taking all the courses!"

"She'll crash before exams." A bet was made.

"Do you suppose he's queer? Everyone knows only boys who take divination become… that way." A girl, two years ahead of her, asked with a touch of worry.

"He's in it for the girls, not that he'd have problems with it." Another one that yielded results that showed his standing among the girls of Hogwarts.

All talk stopped when their Head of House began handing out their schedules. She sipped her potion as soon as he got to her, "Good morning, Professor Snape." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He gave a seemingly absent nod as he moved further down the table. Odd, she'd received two pieces of parchment.

She paled as she looked directly at the second piece of parchment.

'A list…' Ah,last year had truly been a free pass.

"Do it again, Draco!" Pansy cried out, distracting her from going through the ingredients that she would need for the Songstress Draught.

She stood and made her way to herbology with the Gryffindors. She was decent in potions, barely earning an O in last year's finals.

Professor Sprout gave her the same look of pity she got whenever they were alone. She was used to it.

"Today we're doing spells." Adhara nodded and took a sip of her potion, "It's the Severing Charm, the incantation is diffindo, and the wand movement is this." She watched carefully. 

She nodded in acknowledgement, trying to convince herself that she was definitely not upset at the show of sympathy. She clenched her fist in an attempt to calm herself. Just because her vocal chords were damaged, it didn't mean that she was—she shook her head to clear out the thoughts that would inevitably lead to self pity.

Adhara chose practice as her distraction.

[***]

Dementors were horrible things, she could feel them above the dungeons where the lake lay above. Miss Illudo's voice began mocking her again as she struggled to focus on her transfiguration essay. "You're quite the wreck, aren't you?"

She felt the faintest tingling in the back of her throat, recalling the first that her mother had cast the tergo charm. It had been the last time she raised her voice at her mother, the last time she spoke at all… "Running only makes me angrier!"

Would Great-Aunt Druella accept anything below excellence?

She mentally grappled with the idea of writing to the sour old woman for help. She whimpered as she recalled her mother on her knees begging Great-Uncle Cygnus to grant Adhara an invitation to Hogwarts.

There were no men in house Black that could help her; the Malfoy's… no, her cousin had managed to mess up what chance that the Black's had afforded him, losing the seat on the Board of Governors.

"She's just as weak as her parents!"

She began looking through her notes, if she pretended that they weren't there…

[***]

The next week was spent listening to Sytherins in third year and lower drivel on about the latest piece of gossip that didn't—for once—revolve around Potter.

"Malfoy was assaulted by one of the groundskeeper's beasts!" Millicent Bulstrode had said with the least bit of genuine worry. "I hope he'll be okay."

There was even talk of a petition she had no intention of signing even if it did come to fruition. With a stupid teacher who didn't assign essays, Care of Magical Creatures would be an easy pass and if they didn't see it, too bad for them.

Her passion would definitely be Arithmancy.

To avoid other gossip and speculation she was walking the castle grounds before it occurred to her that maybe it was dangerous to do so alone…

There was a dog, large and black as night, staring at her. She took a sip of her potion and with some hesitation she went down on one knee and held out her hand. She hoped it wasn't the magical dog of lore, the Grim.

"Here, doggie…" He walked forward and sniffed her hand. She smiled gently and ran a finger across his chin. "I'm Adhara."

With those words the potion wore off, she took another sip as the dog gave her other hand a tentative lick.

"What should I name you?" She sat on her bum, genuinely in thought. It pawed at her knee, snuffling. The pads on its paws were soft, she noted; the name immediately hit her. "I'll call you Snuffles!"

She checked to make sure the name fit. Good, it was a boy.

"Let's be friends," she whispered. "I'll bring you something to eat tomorrow night."

[***]

"Idiot girl!" Miss Illudo gave a mindless snarl as soon as she discovered Adhara. "You should know by now that Mipsy is too old for so much activity!"

She awoke before it could go on. It was getting harder to force herself to wake up. Her letter needed to be sent—and quickly.

She sat up as one of her roommates gave a whimper in her sleep. Mother would surely be happy to teach her something herself…

"Daddy… stop… please!" Another roommate called softly. "I'll be a good girl…"

She sighed and got up as a roommate began to cry. It was always like this, she was the first to rise and the first to sleep. Perhaps it was the habits that her mother had ingrained in her… or perhaps she simply wasn't sociable.

Adhara's heart clenched.

It was her fault for being so rowdy as a child, her mother wouldn't have been forced to punish her—'Bloody dementors…' Once she was dressed and ready for the day she did the next thing on her schedule.

Her eyes narrowed in thought.

What if she managed to make a means of making it easier? As she walked through the dungeons she smiled brightly, yes.

It would be a good start on Arithmancy and she'd be able to say that she did something with her life.

For now she'd have to get the ingredients that she needed from the potion stores and brew as much as she could get away with.

How she hoped to spend time with Snuffles…

[***]

'How can they be so shameless?' It was a sight that Slytherin house made, crooning and going out of their way to please a pompous third year. It wasn't as if… 'Ah.'

"Oh, it was awful!" She smiled at the thought. "After that useless oaf stopped laughing he still let it have at me."

If only her cousin realized that they were simply raising him up to condemn him later. She contemplated joining in.

"Tell us again, Draco." If you listened closely, you could hear the veiled mocking. "How did you get assaulted by that terrible monster?"

As he began rambling again she decided that the torture wasn't worth it, that his story was too exasperatingly idiotic to hear. She supposed it was the groundskeeper's fault for introducing them to a creature capable of such damage, but still.

It wasn't like the man had ever bothered her. To have a pet die because and be at fault… a small fire of kinship grew before she snuffed it out.

Getting up for Defense Against the Dark Arts was the easiest thing she had done since the term had started. "And then… he started laughing!" With a sigh of annoyance she speedily walked away from the Great Hall.

If it was possible her head began hurting as her house began to laugh from the sheer stupidity that he spewed next. "I know that my father will be taking care of this!"

She was glad she didn't hear the response.

Although… Lupin was the only teacher that didn't appear to like her very much. If she could participate more in his classes like everyone else she would have… surely he knew of her disability? She drank a potion to help with her voice. It was just as well, she didn't like the off feeling he gave her.

It was dark.

He didn't greet her as she walked in, in fact… he all out ignored her.

Like always.

She wanted to ask him what it was that he held against her and decided to sit in the front—'Good luck ignoring me now, old man.'

Adhara knew it was childish and spiteful—he began scribbling on some parchment—but who was she to be an adult?

[***]

The day had gone horribly from there, Professor Lupin had written out assigned seats before the lesson even started and she was all the way in the back. She had raised her hand to participate but he could easily have said he didn't see her.

Next had come double Transfiguration, her rabbit slippers had appeared alright physically but screeched as though its existence were an unnatural thing.

Lunch had been surrounded by Malfoy's bragging, something or other about a weasel…

Now charms… she hadn't been able to properly cast the spell without the ability to speak, so she now had to take a revision class tomorrow to master it.

Tomorrow was Saturday.

History of Magic had actually been a relief.

It was at dinner that she actually relaxed, she was close to seeing Snuffles. Maybe, if he stayed after the food, she could talk to him? Her worry took over for a moment… she shivered.

Why was she already so attached to the beast?

It wasn't like he understood English… he was friendly so maybe he'd been abandoned by a student—"Oh, it was awful!"

She could swear that even Parkinson was desperate for a turn of conversation.

Adhara grabbed some chicken, wondering if he'd prefer some turkey… she grabbed that too. Maybe some… she shook her head, she wasn't even sure that he'd show up!

As she made her way onto the grounds she looked back once.

Parkinson was making it a point to ignore him, though he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the rest of their house had joined in. She would have giggled if she had had the vocal chords for it.

She took a sip of her potion as she reached the courtyard that they had met in. "Snuffles?"

There was a bark in the distance.

"I'm coming!" She winced and rubbed her throat. Adhara took a few tentative steps in that direction, before suddenly realizing just how dark it was.

"Do you know what happens to pretty girls in the dark?" Mother had whispered to her one night after Miss Illudo had lashed out particularly viciously. "Terrible things…"

She did not need to remember that right now—her last attempt at leaving.

There he was, or so she hoped. It was just so dark…

She sipped her potion, "Hello, I brought you some chicken and turkey today." Snuffles let out a quiet bark, she held out the first strip of turkey. He sat there eyeing her. With another sip she mumbled, "Please take it, I need a friend."

She would have laughed had she not been so desperate.

With a sniff the dog sat down, like he was doing her the favor of in terms of company. Her eyes narrowed for a moment, a small war raging within her. Adhara stepped forward and held the chicken under his nose.

Loneliness won.

"Will you stay with me?" The dog licked his chops and looked at her. "In exchange for food, I get to talk to you." Snuffles scooted closer and looked into her eyes.

She hesitated wondering what it was that friends spoke about. With a deep breath she opened her mouth and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Professor Lupin doesn't seem to like me very much…"

[***]

Last night had been so much fun! 

"Concentrate, Miss Ignoble." Professor Flitwick stated sharply, "The incantation is Expelliarmus. Take your potion and try again."

She did as commanded, though her mind couldn't get past the feeling of warmth that Snuffles had induced. She put her wand down and took a deep breath.

"Good, now try to focus."

She lifted her hand, going through the wand motions. Flitwick hummed in approval as she took a particularly large gulp—"Expelliarmus!" It… worked! The doll dropped the stick to the floor and Flitwick continued his lesson.

"When used properly this spell should summon your opponent's weapon to your hand, remember one very important thing, Miss Ignoble: practice makes perfect." She nodded her head, smiling brightly. Flitwick smiled back. "You are free now."

This was why everyone liked the diminutive professor. He didn't push too hard like Professor McGonagall, nor was he a pushover like Sprout.

Perhaps the groundskeeper had stolen that title…

It was lunchtime now so she'd be able to grab something for Snuffles and then she'd tell him of her progress. Mother didn't really seem all that interested in her schooling… the idea of speaking to a dog, someone who didn't judge like a human did was enough to make her smile remain.

[***]

"I wish I could write to my mum about you," she said as soon as she reached the dog who was waiting for his food. "Owls don't really like me."

He whined quietly as she drank from her flask, "I don't know why either." She giggled, drinking some more. "It's funny now that I look back on it, I haven't been around an owl in years!" She drank again.

Snuffle's tail began wagging, "My mother managed to sell our Hilda for a good price, I remember her talons were like teeth." He looked so sad. "I have to get breakfast early, before the mail comes in."

He drooped further, "We had a cat next…" Her eyes stung at the memory. "She dropped a present on my bed after I picked her up by the tail. Mother didn't like that."

Suddenly, he looked as though he expected a happy ending for that.

"Mother punished me like she always does and then she cast a curse on her… the incantation was butio." Snuffles whimpered and moved closer in a comforting gesture, "She said she was just going to show me a good spell…"

"I miss her sometimes, but I was six…." she smiled through her tears. "Her name was Cocoa."

He licked her cheek as she took another great swig, "I'd ask if you could come live with us but I don't want anything like that to happen to you."

He nudged her shoulder with his nose, "Of course!" She reached into her pocket and handed him a piece of lamb, "I hope you enjoy it."

When she tried to drink more of her potion she was quick to realize that it was all gone.

She gave him a pat on the head and stood up; without a thought she kissed his forehead and waved goodbye. She didn't look back but it was safe to assume he'd left quickly.

He may have been using her for food but it was better than being used for other reasons… and still, a friend was a friend.

[***]

"Miss Ignoble, Mister Malfoy, please come with me." McGonagall didn't wait for them to acknowledge her the next day; Malfoy actually seemed torn between basking in today's round of worship and avoiding point loss.

She didn't hesitate of course… since Malfoy wasn't to be outdone he followed her after whispering something derogatory not for the woman's ears. Adhara knew from the way that the elder stiffened that it hadn't gone unheard.

Did she cheat with her animagus form?

"What's all this about, Professor?" As soon as the Great Hall was out of view the boy became a student. She wanted to roll her eyes at the two facedness but the prospect of Miss Illudo being just around the corner frightened her out of it. "If I may know."

"It is a personal issue between family members." Malfoy scowled at her back.

"What's Muzzle doing here?" Adhara's palm met face and she forced herself not to glare at him.

It would be for the wrong reasons, "That'll be five points from Slytherin for insulting a student."

"It's not like she speaks—" She elbowed him in the gut with no hesitation whatsoever; current prince of snakes or no… she'd be damned if he lost them the house cup.

"Another ten for talking back to a professor, Mister Malfoy. An additional five points from you, Miss Ignoble, for assaulting a student." Great, twenty points lost in the span of one minute!

It was a happy day when Malfoy learned to shut his mouth up, and, when they reached the headmaster's office, she looked out the window.

It was even quite sunny.

Mother was waiting along with a couple who she had yet to meet. No doubt who it was, being that they looked like the boy next to her.

"My precious child… I've brought some robes for you." They looked nothing like funeral robes. "Now, Druella decided that everyone was to wear ballroom wear and there will be a ball."

Cassiopeia had tutored her in all sorts of things so that wasn't her worry, "What's she doing here?" There it went, Malfoy was shushed as her mother sighed in annoyance.

"Really, Narcissa?" The Malfoy woman glared at them, "Your son has the manners of a Frenchman—oh, wait…"

"He has the money to act as he pleases."

"Hopefully they'll put a price on good manners then." Mother waved a dismissive hand, "It's clear that my daughter willn't need supervision."

"That ragamuffin?" Narcissa hissed dangerously, "Surely she'll be in the kitchens with the house elves!"

"Oh ho!" Mother gave a harsh laugh, reminiscent of Miss Illudo. Adhara managed to swallow back her fear. "Tell me now, does your son fling his excrements around like the French chimp he is?"

Dumbledore took that moment to interfere, "This is not the time for rekindling old rivalries, ladies." Adhara looked at the dress as her mother stared Narcissa down. "It is an unfortunate affair that is to follow so…"

"Adhara!" Mother interrupted, "You'll need to get dressed in a separate room, can't have monkies ogling what they can't have."

"Ms. Ignoble!" McGonagall thundered. She was surprised when mother submitted. She spoke to Adhara in a gentler tone, "Miss Ignoble, please step through that door."

Adhara obliged and was glad that mother didn't join her.

[***]

Her tea-length bubble dress robe was of a sapphire shade with matching kitten heels, she even had a clutch to match! She had been allowed to do her hair, for that she'd simply brushed it down and showed off the dark glossiness that came with being a Black. Mother had pulled no stops in making her look good.

Mother was dressed similarly, although…

"I know, I know… I look fabulous!" Her heels were platforms, her dress robes barely reached her knees, and her bust… "Don't look at me like that, you'll have them too one day!"

This was a ball she had said, and yet… "It's supposed to have a wild after party and I'm not changing again." Mother shot her a stern look, "I'm taking you to Hogwarts first."

She shrugged her shoulders, and looked down realizing an interesting fact. She couldn't see her feet without arching her back.

Wow.

She gave her mother a smile, silently thanking her for good genetics. Mother suddenly looked quite grave—"Don't look so happy, we're all part-hunchback in the end."

Damn.

[***]

The Knight Bus stopped with a lurch and by then her mother had put on a thick layer of makeup on her, showing her in a compact mirror what she looked like—"I was quite the girly girl in my day." She was saying, "I'll be teaching you a lot of things this Christmas."

It wasn't surprising that mother was good at this for some reason.

"Come along, lovie!" She was a little too happy to be attending a funeral and there was a piece of her to wish that she could comment… but most of her was happy that there was no sign of Miss Illudo.

The building itself was simply… glamorous, where Cassiopeia had chosen to have her funeral in a large field, Druella had chosen the best restaurant in all of Britain… the Blacks were a little too rich if they could afford to actually have one of their corpses in one of these locations.

"Ooh, your grandfather loved it here…" Mother murmured in remembrance, "Come, there's to be a dinner and a professional to do the eulogy." It wasn't a surprise to her that Druella hadn't had many friends.

As unmoved she was she couldn't help but gape at the sights around her. Mother pinched her.

"You belong here too, so act like it!" She hissed, somehow angry in a way unlike Miss Illudo. "I want you to act exactly as Cassiopeia taught you to act. You are to be the mother of the next heir Black."

At those words Adhara managed to control herself as mother gave their reservation number to the auror who was guarding the front door—"Thank you, Diggle." She cooed in a way that made him blush.

"How—how'd you know my—my n—name?"

"It isn't that hard," Mother said sweetly, "You have a name tag."

This was the woman that Adhara had only ever heard about, wrapping the men around her into knots with ease.

Cassiopeia hadn't been exaggerating when she said that Adhara would be hard pressed to live up to her mother's reputation.

Mother was served quickly and she ordered her some butterbeer on the side. She smiled at her, glad to have her on her side. If she did manage to keep her child, she hoped to show as much affection as her mother did.

Although she hoped to be nothing at all like Miss Illudo.

'Oh no…' It was like fate had to throw something onto their diamond of a good fortune to make it dim.

"Well now…" Narcissa gave a girlish titter, "If it isn't—"

"I shall be the mature one to set an example for my daughter, Malfoy. Leave me alone." Mother looked to the stage where Druella's corpse was on display, although Miss Illudo was quite close to the surface.

"A shame you've managed to—" Mother took a deep breath, her eyes narrowed into slits.

"Ah-ah!" Narcissa steeled herself.

"How did it work out between that cousin of mine? He never did marry you, did he?"

"Shut up." There was almost a cat-like hiss to her voice, Adhara put a hand on hers.

"I have quite the happy family! Why, Lucius managed to add expansions to the house with my dowry, not that we are lacking—"

"It is unbecoming of a lady to flaunt her possessions as though they'll follow her to the grave."

"Of course…" Narcissa paused, "Why doesn't your daughter speak up in your defense? My little dragon has quite the wit and tongue, surely… she isn't—"

"Hush up, Malfoy!" It was then that Adhara realized that the night was lost and she'd most likely be going back to Hogwarts alone.

"I heard from my son that your daughter has a cute little nickname." Her voice was soft and delicate, but Adhara knew it was an attempt to infuriate mother further. Adhara commended the other woman for voice control. "What was it, dear?"

Mother was shaking from the willpower it took to stay poised.

"Muzzle." At that word Adhara took a deep breath herself. She wondered, in a less than idle manner, would Miss Illudo come out if she took him on in a muggle duel?

She'd lose, sure, but he would be get in trouble and be shamed for hitting a girl.

A loss of fame, just to keep his mouth shut—"Quite the nickname, I wonder if she's as capable as her mother's reputation said she was—"

"I'll make your eyes go through your skull!" What started as a growl ended with a shout as her mother showed off her ability to cast while talking.

She had no idea what that spell was, but Narcissa's shield shattered upon impact. For some reason she felt glad that the woman ducked out of the way, the chair's back may have had something to do with it.

She shot Draco a look that promised war and—much to her surprise—he paled and started running.

Adhara didn't get the chance to run after him, for her mother banished and petrified her… did she not want her to help?

The spectators were being evacuated by the aurors but she was stuck in the spot she'd been spelled to stay in. At this point she just was glad that no one had stomped on her in their attempt to get away.

"You'll see what it is I'm capable of!" Narcissa shrieked, sending off an orange spell. "I'll prove that—"

In her monologue Miss Illudo had sent a spell that Narcissa barely managed to parry, "Take your smelly hair dye and shove it up your cunt!"

There was a pause in time at the crudeness of it and Miss Illudo managed another spell in the frame of the two seconds of shock that had followed.

"I'll prove myself."

Narcissa Malfoy was the very image of a proud woman, when she fell to her knees there was a gasp. Miss Illudo cackled, her tone condescending: "Don't you see? You're the same weak, little girl you've always been, hiding behind your big sister's—"

She couldn't quite see Narcissa's face but she supposed it was one of smugness when a pair of hands came from the ground and grabbed her mother's ankle.

"Dodge this!" Miss Illudo gave another cackle and—

Apparated.

—Only to be stunned at the same time as her opponent.

It took quite a bit of time for them to come back for her.

[***]

Druella had apparently wanted some kind of show that would frighten people into leaving before her eulogy and had purposely placed people with vendettas against one another at the same table.

There was another shocker… the auror's had paid mother—along with the Malfoys—for her duel, but that didn't matter right now… they'd be able to buy a new house elf with those kinds of funds!

Mother was silent as they made their way to Hogsmeade on the Knight Bus… they had made a stop at Gringotts and had dropped off their reward rather than going to a house elf breeder in Knockturn Alley where there were plenty.

She couldn't remove the incredulous look she knew she was making from her face, even as they unboarded the bus. Mother sighed as she led her up to the castle.

"We're going to save it." Mother said in a voice that left no room for arguments. "If we manage to end up in a bad situation we'll be able to get out of it with this money."

Mother hugged her as soon as they reached the gates of Hogwarts.

"I love you." Adhara hugged her back and squeezed. "I love you very much. Also, Druella has included you in the will reading."

Snuffles was nearby but she didn't dare go up to him in front of mother, she gave him a subtle wave and went to breakfast, hoping that there were no owls.

"Be wary, dearest!" Mother called out. "It's nearly time for the mail!"

She heard her mother apparate so there was not a chance that she could try to get a meal..

With a slap of her forehead she turned to Snuffles and smiled, holding out her hand. The large dog walked right up to her, much to her delight, and accepted a few pats.

Owls had always hated her for reasons she did not know and Adhara still hoped that it would fade in time.

Her eyes widened in horror and she would have swore if she had had the ability. Oh,how she hoped that the professor's would be kind enough to give her pass on participation today.

Adhara was late enough as it was so she gave Snuffles a particularly hard scratch behind his ears and ran for it.

It would be a large distraction during her first class, Charms, but hunger mixed with silent casting was something she'd have to deal with.

She had been through enough, she was strong enough to do it, and she was—her dementor-enhanced low self-esteem didn't allow her to think of anything else.

With a sigh of disappointment she wearily skirted around the Great Hall and scribbled out a note to explain her situation as soon as she found her way to the classroom.

"Miss Ignoble!" Flitwick chuckled, "I trust you managed to complete your potion?"

Her cheeks had heated up as she struggled to hand in the note. Did she fear disappointing him? Her hand lashed out and she stopped him from entering.

"Ah…" He took the note and looked at her oddly, "You're fortunate that we're just doing a revision today, Miss Ignoble."

It wasn't that hard!

She smiled at him and followed him inside, watching as he levitated the chalk onto the chalkboard without a word and wrote his instructions for the day down.

Could she do that?

Mother had proven she could cast silently—no, her spells were precise despite her not bothering with the incantation.

So, until class started, she pulled out a quill and went through the wand motion again and again before she considered herself ready.

She thought the charm as hard as she could.

'Wingardium Leviosa!'

If anyone asked, it twitched.

[***]

Her letters were met with an absent nod and when it was time for dinner she had managed a basic spell. She would never tell a soul that she could, being a Slytherin and all—

"My mum beat this one girl into submission," Malfoy said with pride, "She couldn't even hold her own—"

She stood up and sighed, if she could speak she'd point out that he'd run away from her, that it was the aurors that had saved his mum when she'd been on her knees as good as groveling.

But she couldn't, so she didn't.

She'd bide her time and feed Snuffles in the meantime for his company.

Tonight, she just wanted to touch his fur and sit next to him, he was a nice friend like that. Of course, she wasn't sure what a friend was.

But if it was like this… Adhara smiled as she sat down and patted the ground next to her where he immediately lay down on his side, so close to her.

She pulled out his dinner and maintained her smile as she rubbed his belly, teasing him by dangling it just out of reach. He was lazy, so after that it was a matter of putting it in his mouth.

She'd always defend him, always feed him, and always spend time with him. Oh yes… Snuffles was her best friend and she hoped that he'd remain close to her, always.

She smiled as he snuffled in that cute way of his, his rhythmic breathing soothing her nerves.

Life was good, or so she told herself.

She brushed a hand through his coat with a smile. Adhara was truly content and she could swear that she was almost… happy.

[***]

**This fic IS NOT abandoned, I just don't want to work on it right now. I'll get the drive for it eventually... I have seven chapters available to anyone who either wants to read or continue it for me. I loved this fic and I still do, but now that Rowling has changed the Potter's family history I'll have to rework _everything._**


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